My Life Has No Wordly Value

I was determined to clean out a junk drawer stuffed with paperwork.

Stuff I'd put off for years.

Really, years.

I'm embarrassed to say there were 

unsent wedding and graduation cards,

lists I'd never accomplished,

papers to be filed,

and things procrastinated into irrelevance.

Only one paper didn't nag me about

my inability to get stuff done.

It nagged me about something in my life

that's way beyond my control.

It can't be changed with organization,

diligence or

determination.

(click to enlarge)

Please understand, this isn't a slam to the company,

they're doing their job asa business that needs to make money,

I'm just not a good ROI (return on investment).

They provide good service and do the best they can for their customers.

Getting turned down for life insurance was another reminder

of something I have to wake up to every day~

I have cancer,

and I will never be the same again.

My doctors have assured me repeatedly that

I won't die from the cancer,

I will die with it.

But carrying the cancer burden on my back for the

rest of the journey can be a little wearing.

To  my insurance company,

 I'm not worth investing in because I'm damaged goods.

It's the punch-in-the-gut reality for many that suffer chronic illness.

I'm so thankful the insurance company isn't determining my value

at the end of my life, the Lord Jesus takes on that job.

In the end I will stand before the Man

whose love for me written is in the palms of His hands,

at the Judgement Seat of Christ,

where believers deeds are judged by fire and rewarded.

The flames of suffering on earth

should be preparing us for the flames of judgement.

Sounds harsh?

It isn't.

Do you think an Olympic gold medalist

earned that reward with a comfortable, self-indulging life?

Trials come to all on earth,

saved and unsaved.

The only difference is that after life on earth,

believers go home to Heaven and be in the presence of the Lord Jesus.

In addition, we get rewarded for our service on earth.

Unbelievers spend the rest of their eternity in torment,

apart from Christ,  with no rewards.

That should give us a little better mindset to face our trials.

Since I've been given the fiery trial of cancer on earth,

I don't want the testing fire to reveal wood, hay and stubble.

I want a huge payoff of gold, silver and precious stones,
bigger than the value assigned by my insurance company.

Although He wore a crown of thorns,

He offers glorious crowns for His people.

I'm working for the crown of life for loving Him.

I'd also like the crown of righteousness for loving His appearing

and the crown of glory.

When the flames of trials are lapping at my heels,

and the world has devalued me because of my  suffering

I remind myself, that someday,

I'll be rewarded for my cancer,

if I remain faithful.

Sounds like a great ROI to me.