Who Cut the Cheese?

Growing up with three brothers,

disgusting body noises and smells were the bane

of my daily existence.

PULL MY FINGER

was their motto.

When

WHO CUT THE CHEESE

came into vogue,

they punctuated this new battle cry with rude armpit noises.

It was a harsh childhood, I tell ya'.

My Gramma Geneva

used the slang of her times to join  in our giggles and slang.

When somebody emitted a rude noise from the lower region

of their body, especially if it was accompanied by

a milk-curdling odor,

Gramma would holler out with (wit) a thick (tick) Norwegian (Norvegian) accent,

WHO CUT THE MUSTARD?

(Hoo cut du musTURD)

Then, she'd smile with the same smirk my brothers used

when they'd annihilated the air purity with a SBD.

(For those of you not privileged enough to grow up with

three flatulenting brothers, it means

SILENT BUT DEADLY.)

Notice how I'm not using the actual word you're thinking of?

Yea, when my husband was teaching in a private Christian

school he was reprimanded by the trying-not-to-laugh principal

for using a bad word  in the classroom.

Apparently, a parent had called in because in some homes

FART

is a naughty word.

I wonder if they think a FART by any other name

would smell sweeter?

In case you are one who agrees with that philosophy,

I'll elevate my diction and avoid further mention

of that dreadful word.

Back to Gramma's mustard.

I couldn't begin to imagine where her saying came from,

until I heard this song as an older teenager.

I grew up, married and was blessed with six cheese-cutting kids of my own.

Now, I'm the one cutting the cheese.

Literally.

During the holidays there is a constant ebb and flow of activities,

 festivities, responsibilities and company.

Sometimes, coming up with a last minute meal or snack can be challenging.

A few years ago I discovered having cheese cut up and ready

makes sandwiches and cracker trays easy to create.

The cheese is layered with waxed paper and the bag labeled.

My other favorite flavors to keep on hand are

dill havarti and smoked gouda.

You haven't had dill havarti?

It's my favorite.

If you love cheese and you love pickles,

you will love dill havarti!

It'll be your new favorite cheese, I promise.

A piece of cardstock underneath sturdied up the package.

Two sizes were made, cracker and sandwich.

PULL MY FINGER!

I'm expecting more company this week

and I need to prove I'm not too old to

CUT THE CHEESE

anymore.