Friday, October 14, 2011

My Husband's Mid-Life Crisis

Some of you know my husband's name is Scott.
Some of you know that my husband is getting older.
We're the same age, but he is 8 months older.
In my mind, that's way older.

At 47, I guess we're officially middle-aged.
He's just more middle-aged than me.
Remember, he's way older?

He's having a mid-life crisis.
I'm seeing the signs.
There are things about his life he wants to change.

Some men buys sports cars.
Some men start working out.
Some men get toupes.

Not my man.

When we go out to eat,
on those rare date nights,
I know it's almost time to
"belly-up-to-the-bar" when the teen-age waitress hollers,
"Jack, table for two,

Yep, he wants to change his name to

He bemoans we didn't name one of our sons Jack.
He wonders out loud if he could get away with a legal name change.
It gets really bad when he dreams about me changing my name to Jill.

Just when I was getting used to my hubby of 25 years being called
he began showing other fruit of his aging crisis.

He went into a store.

A store he's never gone into before.

A store where he doesn't really belong.

He bought something he's never bought before.

Something that isn't the usual thing a man of his integrity would buy.

In the store people were eyeing him with curious snickers.

I was actually getting a little uncomfortable.

I tell ya', this middle-age crisis thing is getting a little dangerous.

I'm a little worried about what he's gunna' do next.

Yea, that's his Monkey, Jack.

Jack is wearing,
(I have to whisper this part) - whitie tidies,
(back to my normal voice)
jeans and a flannel shirt.
Jack is from Minnesota, can ya' tell?
Jack was eyeing the fishing outfit,
but he'll have to get that later.
Ya' know I was describing Monkey Jack's clothes,
not Hubby Jack's clothes, right? 

I think he was feeling left out with all the adventures
Rebekah and I have with our Build-A-Bear Monkies.

Speaking of feeling left out,
Daddy let her help.
I think it soothed that uncomfortable feeling that all
the other kids in the store were getting toys,
not watching their Dad splurge.

(don't mind the pics, those cell phone things aren't high quality)

Daddy Jack picked out the clothes, but she got to dress Baby Jack.

Daddy Jack a little incredulous over his momentary weakness.
After all, this is a man used to buying things with
power cord and engines, not stuffing and a tail.

Formerly, this man's happiest day,
next to marrying me,
 was the day he bought his Stihl chainsaw.

How well I remember his thrill, 
"Honey, it's a STIHL.  A REAL STIHL."
I think he had a tremor in his voice,
he was so awestruck with his good fortune.
He's a Minnesota boy through and through.
That day, he was so happy he just began cutting stuff up.

See why I call this a crisis?
He goes from Minnesota woodsman to stuffed animal owner?

Buying toys is my normal behavior, not his.

I guess if the neighbors hear the chain saw in the next few weeks,
 they better beware.

It will be the prelude for Lumber Jill's mid-life crisis.

Follow me over to Kim's for more laughs!


  1. Beka's the luckiest kid ever! :)

    Lumber Jill cracked me up but it wouldn't surprise me in the least to see you using a chainsaw. :)

  2. That was fantastic.

    Somehow, my Scott ended up with an old Bronco as his midlife crisis "tinker toy". He is, at this moment, in the garage replacing this and that part, getting smudged with "car juice" as my children call it, and having the time of his "mid-life".

  3. lol What a fun midlife crisis, though!

  4. Oh have mercy! Okay Lumber Jill, let's get things under control okay? LOL!
    Oh and I have to tell you that your comment today on my blog cracked me up because ever since we saw the Tim Hawkins skit about prayer I haven't been able to say or hear someone say "hedge of protection" without wanting to crack up!
    Have a super duper night!

  5. Hahahahahaha....would that all men could go through mid-life with so little hassle!
    I know one of your secrets to coping so well - I have discovered it as well, "Laughter is the best medicine" !!!
    Have a good weekend.

  6. That does sound like the best mid life crisis! Loved reading about it!

  7. This is fun. Say Hi to Jack Q. for me.

  8. LOL! So glad somebody in the family is now named, "Jack", even if it is a stuffed animal, LOL.


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