Monday, October 11, 2010

Wonka to the Rescue

My life can be pretty busy.

Well-meaning people  suggest I take things out of my life.
That always stumps me. 
I don't serve on any committees,
I don't get my hair or nails done,
rarely shop for anything other than groceries,
and it's not a sports season for anybody.
I don't work out, (you'd believe me if you saw my jelly-belly)
and  we order pizza more often than I care to admit.

But, I'm frequently told  to simplify my life.

Any takers for the three bathrooms that need to be cleaned? 
How about cooking the three meals a day?

OK.  No takers. 
I have to come up with another plan to simplify my life.

For the meals I'm gunna'
start buying Wonka gum. 

Remember his Three-Course Dinner Chewing Gum? 
I would LOVE to serve this for dinner every night. 
Much less shopping, no preparation, no cooking, no cleaning. 
We could sit around the dinner table, pop in our pieces of gum, chew and chat.

"Please pass the Tomato soup, roast beef and baked potato,
and blueberry pie and ice cream piece of gum."

"Oh, Wonka perfected that one, huh? 
Ya' sure ya' ain't gunna turn into a giant blueberry?"

"How did school go today, all my precious children?"

"Is there another steak, potato and salad piece left?"

"Father, how was work today?"

"Who took the last piece of pizza, breadsticks and Caesar salad gum?
I wanted it!"

Maybe, no more complaints about dinner. 
Maybe, no more fighting over whose turn it is for dishes. 
No more sweeping more food off the floor than appears to have been swallowed.
We've have time for rational, intellectual conversation every night in-between chomps.

Yea, I am totally going to buy Wonka gum.

Then, I'm gunna'
hire Alice to be my housekeeper. 
Ya' know, from The Brady Bunch. 
If she's not available, I'm gunna driving to Mayberry to hire Aunt Bea. 
I need someone who is starched and polished and has the laundry folded,
the house spotless and the meals on time, all the time.  

Yea, so then for the Honey Do list,
even though my awesome honey actually crossed off a lot of thing this weekend,  
I'm gunna' hire MacGyver.
I'll just give the big M a box of paperclips, a hand full of pens
 and duct tape and put him to work. 
Oh, that's right, I'd have to dig all the pens out of the couch cushions,
under the beds and out of purses not being used,
so he'll have to work without the pens.

We'll start showering
with our clothes on to save on laundry. 
We might even throw the dirty coffee mugs in the tub to save time in the kitchen. 
We can give up eating, but I can't give up coffee.

I'll stop washing our sheets and towels,
what a waste of time, anyway. 
If I bought new once a year, it would cut down on shopping and laundry. 
I could go green and save some green.

 Then, if I wasn't cooking, cleaning and doing laundry,
I would have a lot of free time on my hands.

 I could start
getting my hair and nails done. 
 I could start working out
head up a coupla' committees.

But, it all starts with the gum.  I gotta' get some of that Wonka Gum!

Until the gum is on the market, I'll use the same motivation I always use when the necessary duties of everyday life just seem to pile up.

Galatians 6:9
And let us not grow weary while doing good,
for in due season we shall reap
 if we do not lose heart.

Philippians 2:14
Do everything without complaining
(to Mom, not the kids)

Since I can't chomp on Wonka gum,
I'm chomping on my tongue, to keep it from complaining. 
And, I am cooking, cleaning, laundering, schooling, gardening
 and mommying with a full heart and strength for the journey.

Thank you, Lord!


I'm linking up with other moms to see how their handling their Monday. 



  1. I completely agree! Let's go make some Wonka gum! Thanks for stopping by my blog! I enjoyed reading through yours. Speaking of dinner, it is i had better go :-)

  2. Mindy, love your sense of humor and creative writing. Yes, we could be doing a whole lot of other things, but it really is the way God intends us to live our lives. using our hands in service adn doing all we do unto Him...there is no greater joy than to serve our king! xxx

  3. You're hilarious!
    I'll buy that gum... and stock in whoever makes it too.

  4. When is Wonka Gum coming to Oz? All humour aside, our lives seem very busy to some but we are told that whatever your hand findeth to do, do it with your might!

  5. You know I was thinking about that gum recently! I think it would help me while I'm studying and don't have time to eat! hehe

  6. Mindy, very creative post. Send me some of that gum when you find it!

  7. Thank you all for your encouraging comments. When people add comments, it is like adding extra frosting to the desert - Yummy!

    Ruby, love that verse, was trying to find another one that spoke my heart - yours was perfect.

  8. I loved the bit about sweeping up more food then was eaten! I suggested that if my husband loved me, he would invent some sort of mat with peel off layers to put under our kitchen table (think Nascar windshields) so that after a meal, I could just peel off a layer and have a clean floor.

  9. Dana, I love the mat idea! I used to fantasize about a stainless steel kitchen and dining room with grate/drain on the floor. After a meal you would shut the doors, push the button and it would be like a dishwasher. After an hour, all would be clean, dry and sparkly. This way, you could just leave the dishes on the table!

  10. I love the Wonka gum plan. Brilliant! I'd love an Alice, but what I'd love more is a man to come take care of the yard, weed, prune, and keep it looking spic and span.


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