It's Always Worth the Wait...

Last week I blogged about

waiting.

Then, I blogged about

still waiting.

We don't like to wait.

We fuss at our kids for being impatient while waiting

for their birthday,

their meal,

their vacation or

their turn in the bathroom.

But,we adults can act the same way.

The Lord's timing can be a little hard for us to take.

We like things done

 our way

and in

our timing.

During anxious, unsure moments,

it helps to focus on what we're waiting for.

In Luke 8:40, people were longing to see the

Savior.

"...when Jesus returned, that the multitude welcomed Him,

for they were all waiting for Him."

When life on earth is hard and we're tired of our flesh,

 we may long for

Heaven.

Romans 8:23, "...even we ourselves groan within ourselves,

eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body.

For believers alive at this moment,

we are waiting for His blessed

return.

I Corinthians 1:7, "...waiting for the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ:"

While we were waiting 

it helped to think about what we were waiting for. 

That's right. 

A baby.

Not mine, of course, but my daughter's.

My third grandchild.

  

 
(Photo by my favorite son-in-law, Aaron

of Roli Photography) 

And, it's always worth

waiting...

especially for a

baby.

Read Jana's birth story here!

 

...While We Were STILL Waiting...

So where were we?

Oh yea, that's right.

In CA waiting for the birth of grandchild #3.

 Waiting.

 While waiting for the baby,

we were reminded of the simple fact~

babies come out when they're good and ready.

They don't understand due dates.

They don't understand schedules.

They don't understand about which midwife is on call.

They don't understand because they're on the Lord's schedule.

They are wise enough to wait for His perfect timing.

They just don't have any way to encourage their mommies

during the waiting,

so they kick,

and squirm,

and punch,

and wiggle,

and push

and kick some more.

They like to make a grand entrance by making

their mommies totally miserable just prior to birth.

It's the Lord's way of making a woman actually

want

to go through labor.

It works, doesn't it?

Pregnant women will go through

anything

 just to get that baby out of there.

But, meanwhile, Mommies need to pass time while they're

waiting.

Target was a favorite destination

because Gwamma had to buy the kids presents, of course.

We had to buy little monkey outfits for baby, too.

This Gwamma loves monkeys.

This Gwamma is really sad nobody made baby clothes with

monkeys on them when she was having her monkeys.

Brookelyn entertained us by marching into the living room

 in this beautiful ensemble and announcing, "I'm Jana."

Her actions inspired a full-fledged  fashion show,

with Rebekah and Brookelyn modeling and announcing.

While waiting,

we ate a lot of snacks.

Kids and preggo mommies love snacks.

Beka helped pass the time by setting up a library story hour.

Both of the listeners ended up being banished from the library

for being naughty.

They had to take an early nap.

The librarian read to herself.

We had to eat a lot of IN-N-OUT Burgers while

waiting.

They really took the misery out of waiting.

I think both Jana and I gained weight while

waiting.

Since food seems to be the favored way to pass time while

waiting,

we also had to go out for gelato.

While her Mommy was in the bathroom,

I tried taking a picture of Brookie with chocolate drips on her face.

She refused.

I won't be outsmarted by a three year old.

I told her she could stand on the tall chair and pose for a picture.

There ya' go.

At the street fair there were some gnarly lookin' pirates.

Why do people think pirates are fun for kids?

Unbathed murderers?

EEWWWW.

No wonder the kids didn't smile.

Speaking of eating while

waiting

-our first Funnel Cake!

It was so good.

We slopped powdered sugar all over our faces,

fingers and clothes, but the mess was worth it.

A little bit of running and jumping always occupies people

who are

waiting,

waiting,

waiting.

During one of our conversations,

Jana said that despite her discomfort and her anxiousness to have the baby,

she trusted the Lord for His timing.

"His timing has been perfect with Brookelyn and Brayden,

His timing will be perfect with this one."

One night, because we were hungry and needed some female bonding,

Jana and I put the kids to bed and went out for a snack.

Believe it or not, there was yogurt underneath all this candy.

Nice, healthy, supposed-to-be-better-for-you-than-ice-cream yogurt.

But, by the time I ate all the candy,

I didn't have room for the healthy yogurt.

With baby curling up on her tummy,

Jana knew she didn't have a lot of room for yogurt,

so took a nice, polite helping.

You know how people claim the last thing they did

 before going into labor causes labor?

Then, it's official.

Yogurt causes you to go into labor.

And, Jana was right.

The Lord's timing was perfect.

(stay tuned...)

How To Wait for A Baby

In June,  my youngest daughter, Rebekah,

 and I hopped a plane to Orange County, CA

to visit my oldest daughter, Jana,

who was expecting her third child.

Because we had plenty of time at the airport,

we "rode" the sidewalk a few times.

For those of you who are used to the Fargo airport

with four terminals and about 32 stairs,

 the Seattle airport has

this cool sidewalk thingy that moves so you can get

to your destination more quickly.

I knew you'd be impressed.

To further enlighten my daughter,

I told tales of riding the only escalator in Montana

during a shopping trip to Great Falls.

It's still one of my prized childhood memories.

Small things thrill people from small towns.

Beka wasn't as thrilled with the retelling.

Jana looking beautiful with her baby bubble.

When the Lord described Mary as "heavy with child"

in the Scriptures, He once again validated in my mind

the accuracy and inerrancy of the Bible.

Little Brookie in her Pwincess finery helping with luggage.

This waiting for the baby business is a lot easier when

you are NOT the one who is pregnant.

It also goes better when you drink a lot of coffee

and a lot of lattes.

Luv me some coffee.

I loved drinkin' coffee with my first baby who is ready to have her third baby.

We sat and sipped and talked and enjoyed our adult relationship.

But I also marveled at our lives.

Where did the years go?

How can she be old enough to be a Mommy?

How can I be old enough to be a Gwamma?

Don't get me wrong, I love this stage of life,

 it's just that my baby stage went by way too quickly.

One day I had a house full of toddlers,

the next day my child has a house full of toddlers.

Back to the waiting...

Daily splashing definately passes time. 

Just so ya' know, this pool easily holds three kids

AND

one adult.

Tea parties in the backyard can eat up minutes.

Time is also wisely spent "fixing" things.

Little Bubba,

(doesn't every Red Neck Minnesota family have a Bubba?)

fixed every broken thing he could find.

Sitting outside in the Cali sunshine makes

waiting just a little more pleasant,

as long as you aren't the one with the beach ball sized bouncing baby

on your lap. 

Taking a lot of pictures is also a wise use of time.

A child who has grown up with digital photography,

Brayden kept looking at the back of the disposal camera asking,

"Where picture go?"

Enjoying friends is a wonderful way to pass those waiting moments.

Mark and Kirsti, dear friends of ours from Minnesota,

were in the area on vacation and joined us for a day.

When the heat is unbearable,

and people are starting to get cranky,

a trip to the play area at the mall always works.

 

Auntie Rebekah loves playing with the kids.

And if you're still waiting for a baby,

a trip to the Bounce House can eat up almost a half a day.

This probably would be strenuous enough to make a pregnant

woman go into labor, but Jana stayed firmly on the ground.

And yet, after days of playing and splashing and

waiting...

the baby still hadn't come.

Since my pregnancies were overdue,

I  remembered the feeling that

glaciers could melt,

mountains could be moved,

and I would

still

be pregnant.

I had to remind Jana a few times

that she would actually have the baby.

Nobody stays pregnant forever.

Although you know this factually,

it's hard to live when you are

heavy with child,

waiting, waiting, waiting...

 

(stay tuned....I know you want to hear how this ends)

One Big Happy Family

My guest blogger today is Rebekah Joy,

who previously blogged about being

The Baby of the Family.

Today she provided the illustration and the commentary

on the rest of the family.

I didn't edit, it's too precious the way it is.

She has years ahead to study grammar,syntax, and spelling,

 but for now, she writes straight from the heart,

and a lot faster than I do.

******

I drew this picture for one of my subjects in school.

 Because our family loves each other,

and I was thinking about that,

I had everybody holding hands.

My Dad is really good at fixing broken things.

He prays with me at night and he takes me on dates,

like change the oil and stuff like that, but it's fun.

My Mom helps me with school and plays games with me.

And she'll take my school pictures,

because I can't take the picture while I'm posing.

Dan moved away and lives in Fargo.

When he lived at home, me and him would go for Slurpees.

My sister, Grace, is really funny sometimes,

but when I cannot bug my Mom when she's busy, I'll ask Grace.

My sister, Beth, works at a nice salon.  She fixes my hair really pretty.

And, she has a really nice dollhouse.

My sister, Jana, has two kids already and #3 is coming and it is a girl.

Aaron is the husband of Jana and he is a good husband.

He cooks when Jana is busy.

My brother, Jon, is a really fun playmate with me.

He'll help me do my school work, too, and

 he'll play catch with me in the front yard.

I really like to dress-up, play baby dolls and house.

I like to put sponge curlers in my hair so the next morning I have curly hair.

When I grow up I want to be a nurse so I can help people have a baby

and give shots.

I really like my family because they do stuff for me and they love me.

We're one big happy family.

Arrows are for Shooting...

My husband and I have always loved these verses:

Psalm 127:3-5

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,

The fruit of the womb is a reward.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,

So are the children of one’s youth.

 Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;

 We hadn't even been married five years,

and were thrice blessed.

We were so thankful to be filling the quiver.

I think we look 18, but were 26.

I loved matchy, matchy back then and the kids were too young to complain.

The beautiful plaid material, 60 inch width, for $1.50 a yard,

so I spent less than $5 for the material and sewed the clothes.

On a private Christian school teacher's salary,

it seemed like a huge splurge at the time.

I was so determined to wear the outfits for all holiday events,

the first time I wore my jumper, it was still unhemmed.

Nobody noticed the slightly frayed fabric swinging around my ankles,

but the first person I saw, a bachelor, asked if I was pregnant.

He was gracious enough to be mortified when he found out I wasn't.

He just assumed -

jumper = pregnant

But, at this time, everyone wore jumpers.

As I meditated on the verses above just now,

I realized something for the first time -

 arrows are not meant to be

kept

 in the quiver.

They aren't decor,

they're tools. 

These three children have been shot into the world,

and our quiver is no longer as full.

We were blessed with three more children,

but most likely all six will never live under the same roof again.

The oldest, Jana, is happily married to her best friend

and is expecting her third child.

Daniel works in the computer industry in another state,

but  is in Bolivia on a mission visit.

Bethany is working in cosmetology, living at home.

We never would have guessed, 20 years ago, 

the path the Lord would lead us along,

with joys and sorrows multiplied together.

If another 20 years passes,

and the Lord hasn't returned,

I know that we'll still be rejoicing

about His blessings to undeserving sinners.

And we'll be wondering where the time went,

and how our quiver emptied

so

quickly.

Not a Mini-Me

This blog was inspired after reading my daughter's blog, an honest reflection about the ways she's like me and the ways she isn't.

I realized we've been tugging on opposite sides of this struggle in life from the very beginning.

The best advice my Lamaze coach gave me when I was pregnant with my first child had nothing to do with labor, contractions or breathing.

It had to do with the appearance of our newborn children.  She shared her story of expecting a petite, dark-haired little girl, a little miniature of herself.  Instead, she had a chubby, red-headed little boy with freckles.  She adored her little guy, but was in shock because he didn't look anything like her or anybody else on either side of the family.

She warned us, "Have no expectations about what your child is going to look like." 

I have thought about this over and over -  her wisdom has permeated many aspects of my life, whether she intended it to or not.

Not only did my first child come out with hair and skin so dark I would have thought they handed me the wrong baby if I hadn't been awake for the whole thing, but as she grew,  I realized she didn't always think like me, either.

I learned to have no expectations.

From a young age, I learned she had her own ideas in life about the world around her.  She didn't see the world through my eyes, she saw it through her own.

It wasn't wrong, it wasn't rebellion, she wasn't rejecting me.

She just wasn't a little Mini-Me.

She didn't follow my exact taste in clothes, decorating,  or crafts.  She didn't like sewing.  She didn't like museums. She didn't like camping. 

As I learned to let go of my ideas on how things should look, should function and should be, I was blessed to see her own taste, confidence and faith develop. 

This was a valuable lesson to learn, since she was the first of six children.  

I am not raising children to be imitators of me, I am raising children who were knit together in my womb by the Heavenly Father, who created them with their own personalities, gifts and abilities.

If they are to imitate anybody completely, it should be the Lord Jesus.  Our example is supposed to point them to Him.

1 Corinthians 11:1

Imitate me,

just as I also imitate Christ..

Jana and I celebrating her gradution from High School

at the top of the Space Needle.

She doesn't like this picture of herself,

but I think she is beautiful.

Jana likes this picture, but I don't like the picture of myself.

We still don't always agree.

Even though I tried to not conform her into my image,

and even though she tried not to be just like me,

we ended up a lot more alike that we ever imagined.

Ya' know what?

We're both really, really happy about that.

3 John 1:4

I have no greater joy

 than to hear

that my children walk in truth.

Jana Loves Her Daddy

To Daddy from Jana

 

Jana was four years old, and her portrait is hilarious.

The hair is accurate, but we always laughed about the spoon.

 We also love his knees.

Maybe because that is the height she was at the time,

that is what she was seeing.

Read on to see how her vision of her Daddy

changed over the years.

*****

To Daddy from Jana

Being the oldest isn't always the funnest role in the family,

especially the oldest girl.

My Dad and I fought many battles growing up...

Jeans below the belly button? *gasp* NO WAY!

Eyeliner? "It will just make you look goth."

Having an opinionated girl was all new territory for everyone.

I didn't know how to be a teenager and
Dad was trying to figure out how to relate to me!

Dad teases me quite often with words that I said when I was little,

"Me do myself."

Those three words pretty much sum me up.

There's one word that sums my Dad up -

LOVE.

Looking back over my life,

I see over and over again
 his demonstration of his love to me.

And not just the lovey-dovey love.

Love when it seems impossible to love someone.

Love when he wanted to rip my head off.

Love when his heart was breaking.

Love when my heart was breaking.

Love when he didn't have any love left in him.

Unconditional love.

My attitude of "me do myself" gets me into trouble.
A lot.

But Dad stood,
 and continues to stand,
 by me.

He didn't agree with paths I had chosen,

but he would continually show me love.

A text message. An email.

Constant little reminders he was never leaving me.

He gave me a glimpse of how the heavenly Father loves.

He taught me how I should love.

Love is action.

Dad's actions speak louder
than anything he could ever say to me.

Except, when he says, "I love you with all my heart."

I melt like a Popsicle on the 4th of July.

And now not only does my Dad continue to Love me,

he is loving on my husband and two kiddos.

What an answer to prayer!

If you know our story,

you know that Dad had to the right
 to pull out the shot gun.

Instead, he opened his big heart,

(how does he still have so much room after me?)

 and his arms, and welcomed Aaron in.

I know it was hard for him.
I could see it in his eyes and graying hair.

But underneath,
I saw his Love starting to pour out.
I saw our Heavenly Father shining through Dad,
helping him love.

Dad's love has supported me and
helped me grow into the young lady I am today.

I know it wasn't easy but he really has let "Me do Myself."

He showed me how to turn that into something good.

Now I want, "Me do together with the Lord."

He has taught me how to forgive.

He has taught me how to reach people.

He has taught me how to be a witness.

He has taught me how to live out a life of love.

He has taught me how to show love to my family.

He taught me how to love by loving me with All His Heart.

Dad, I love you with all my heart.


*****
Read the other love letters to Daddy by
Rebekah
Bethany
Grace

They Grow Up So Fast

Written September 5, 1994.

"They grow up so fast!"

You cannot count how many times this phrase has been used.

It is offered as sage advice from older moms, who are are wistfully musing  moments slipped away and opportunities lost, and are encouraging younger moms to cherish the moments.

It can be a frustrated exclamation of a  new and stressful developmental crisis, a mommy facing a stage that had once seemed far in the future.

It shows a disbelief at the passage of time and the natural pace of maturity. With a longing tone, the mommy wishes to hold precious memories and feelings as near to heart as at the moment of occurrence.


As I watch my oldest daughter, I am continually reminded of the dark-haired, smiley, chubby infant she was. She was my firstborn joy and delight, the child who crowned me with motherhood.

Can this really be her…already?

She has the all-important air of being a second grader, complete with the toothless confident smile, and the oldest reigning over three siblings. As she bustles around caring for and chasing after the 13 month old toddling toddler, soothes frustrations of a  four year old sister, or patiently teaches the 5 year old brother to read, I am amazed.

How can she do that?

How does she know what to do?

They grow up so fast!

I imagine my friends must feel this same surprised amazement as they send their children to college, down the aisle for marriage or into the world for employment. Do they wonder how the time to say good-bye is  already here?

They grow up so fast!

As our own children fly through their lives on wings of independence, we find the inward musing turns to outward advice, as we try to prepare younger mothers for the unstoppable passage of time. We want to warn them, somehow, as older women tried to warn us.

So, when the simple sentence is uttered, it means many things.

Don't let the days go by without many hugs, kisses and encouragements.

Don't le the days go by without teaching, correcting, disciplining.

Don't let the days go by without laughing, playing, sharing.

Don't let the days go by with anger, regrets, unspoken apologies.

They grow up so fast!

Why do we never, never tire of this overwhelmingly simply spoken sentence?

Because, they grow up so fast.

*****

16 years later

Jana with Brookelyn Grace, 3, and Brayden Aaron, 1.
She blogs at The Roli Poli's.

Can this really be her…already? She has the God-given importance of being a young mommy of two precious kids. As she bustles around caring for and chasing after the 1 year old toddling son and soothing frustrations of a precocious three year old daughter, I am amazed.


How can she do that?
How does she know what to do?

And now her heart beats with mine with the same agonizing eagerness to cling to the moments and cherish the memories, because -
They grow up so fast.

Children Are A Blank Slate?!?!

I learned many interesting theories in my  university education courses.  I say interesting to be gracious, but I really mean ludicrous.  After sitting through an hour of Educational Psychology, I would walk out of the class wondering if the psychologists had raised any children of their own.  It seemed that they just peeped through big picture windows, watched other families and made up crazy ideas.  But, since I didn't have any children of my own at that point, I just filed away the information for future reference.

When I had children, I could say with experiential confidence, that I did not believe any of the theories I had learned in college.

Let's begin with the idea that all children are born a blank slate, and environment, parents, culture, and society write on that slate to create that individual.

Wickipedia says that "Tabula rasa (Latin: blank slate) is the epistemological thesis that individuals are born without built-in mental content and that their knowledge comes from experience and perception.


Generally proponents of the tabula rasa thesis favour the "nurture" side of the nature versus nurture debate, when it comes to aspects of one's personality, social and emotional behaviour and intelligence."


When my oldest daughter was about 18 months old,  Scott and I left her with a friend to go out to dinner alone.  We rarely left her, so were careful to choose this mother of many who also daycared in her home.   We were excited for her chance to be with other kids.

Imagine my horror to return to my precious little girl and find out she had scratched a daycare boy.  She had pinched his skin with her little fingernails and left a mark on his face.  I was told it was unprovoked and it wasn't an accident. She had reached out and mauled this poor little boy.

I was devastated.  She had never seen scratching.  She had never been scratched.  She hadn't seen it on TV, we didn't own one. She hadn't seen her Daddy and Mommy scratching each other. I still wasn't sure if she really had meant harm, or if she was just experimenting.  I kept observing.

This behavior continued.  Sometimes she took toys from other kids.  Sometimes she pushed.  Sometimes her hair was pulled.   Sometimes her toys were taken.  My friends and I were NOT teaching or showing this behavior by example.

A theory I hadn't really believed anyway could be tossed out the window.

I was not writing on her slate.

"Make sure you bite your friends."
"Take any toy you want to play with, even if you have to pull them over to take it out of their hands."
"If you don't get your way, scream, yell and hit people."
"If you want a treat and your Mommy says no, just steal it."
"If hitting doesn't work, try biting."

You know what?  All my kids were this way.  Each one was brought into this world so beautiful, so unmarred, so precious and wonderful, yet the moment they gained any mobility, it was for their advantage.

Before you knew it, I had six wonderful biters, hitters, stealers and hair-pullers.

Instead, I had to write on their slates.

Ephesians 4:32, "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you."

Matthew 7:12, "Whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them."

I had to teach them correct behavior and come up with deterrents, punishments and instruction when they failed.
 
These well-meaning psychology people won't accept that children are born with a sin nature.
 
Romans 3:2, "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God."
 
Early on show they show signs that their little hearts are selfish and self-centered.   Until they are old enough to put their own faith in Jesus Christ, it is our job, as parents, to train them, guide them, help them learn how to live with their body of weakness.  They each have great potential, talents, abilities and personalities that we are excited to see bursting from their precious little bodies.  But, all that can be tainted if they aren't taught to deal with their sin nature. 
 
How do I know the sin nature is true?  Because my children got it from me, a sinner saved by grace.
 
This was emphasized to be in a painful way the first time I slammed a cupboard door and Jana walked up behind me and slammed it in perfect imitation.  Except, I was crabby and she had an adorable little smile on her face, so pleased that she was able to perfectly mimic her mommy.

Ouch.


I do strongly believe that parenting affects our children, and I take my role as a Christian mother seriously. I know that environment, culture and society affect our children, so I am careful in what and who I allow them to be exposed to, to watch, to see and to  hear.


The psychologists are right  that influential writings are etched upon our children's slates.  They are just wrong by not accepting that they are sinners by nature and the writing that will change them for eternal good is etched into the tablet of their hearts by the Lord Jesus Christ.


2 Corinthians 3: 2-3, "... you are a letter of Christ ... written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone, but on tablets of human hearts."

So, while we are correcting, instructing, guiding and helping our dear children, we are constantly pointing them to the Lord Jesus, using His beautiful Words of Life to mold and shape their hearts and minds.

We long for them to trust Him as their Savior, and write on their sin-stained slates,

"I Am A Sinner,
Saved By Grace."

Little Brookie Cheers Up Gramma

One of the biggest blessings about being a mommy, is that eventually you can turn into a Gramma. A Gramma enjoys all the good things about motherhood, without the responsibility and the financial commitment. Our daughter Jana brought hubby and baby home to help take care of me after my surgery. Brookie was a LOT of help. She entertained me by trying on the shoes by the front door.....anything left out is fair game for a Shoe Fashion Show. (Yesterday, her Mommy was trying to leave the house, but was having a hard time finding a PAIR of shoes. Apparently, Brookie had Cinderellaed them around the house.)

She fixed things for her poor, recovering Gramma. I guess she is so used to watching Grandpa fix things, she's learned to fix things herself.

She comforted Grandpa.

But, can't you just hear her thinking, "My, what a big face you have!"

I remember the days when my little Jana looked just like her precious little Brookie. After staring at her adorable little face all day, there was always an adjustment when Daddy came home and I had to look in his large, over-sized face! A good-looking face, of course, just super-sized from what I had been gazing at all day.

She warmed my heart by showing me how much she loves her Mommy. I know Brookie loves me; she sometimes sits still long enough for me to snuggle her, she talks to me on the phone, she plays with me, and she kisses me. But the truth is, the beautiful truth is, she has always loved her Mommy more.

This is a good thing! As a newborn baby, she didn't know that I was FAR more experienced, that I had changed WAY more diapers, and that I had comforted babies for hours upon hours. When she cried, she wanted HER Mommy. That natural love builds such confidence in a young Mom! There has never been any competition, only a beautiful generational binding. Brookie needs her Mommy. When Brookie's Mommy needs her Mommy, I am here.

I adore this precious, time honored tradition. They say red roses are the flowers that say LOVE,
but I think DANDELIONS speak the love language much more significantly.

Brookie's chubby little legs can't get her to her Mommy fast enough to bestow her love offering into waiting heart and hands. Over and over she picked and trotted over to someone she loved, mostly her Mommy.

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in Truth." 3 John 1:4

Jana, Aaron, Baby Brookie and Baby #2

We love watching our daughter's family grow in size and in faith.

After shooting family pics for a few moments, while Brookie fussed and looked away, she suddenly decided she wanted to be a model. She posed and smiled and giggled and gave us some great shots.

So while she giggled, played, kissed and loved through the visit, she gave me another reason to continue praying for healing and strength.

Proverbs 17:6 "Grandchildren are the crown of old men..." I guess this includes old women, too. If Brookie is my crown, then the title Gramma is one of royalty.

And, doncha' think my sceptor should be a bouquet of dandelions?