Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Not a Mini-Me

This blog was inspired after reading my daughter's blog, an honest reflection about the ways she's like me and the ways she isn't.

I realized we've been tugging on opposite sides of this struggle in life from the very beginning.

The best advice my Lamaze coach gave me when I was pregnant with my first child had nothing to do with labor, contractions or breathing.

It had to do with the appearance of our newborn children.  She shared her story of expecting a petite, dark-haired little girl, a little miniature of herself.  Instead, she had a chubby, red-headed little boy with freckles.  She adored her little guy, but was in shock because he didn't look anything like her or anybody else on either side of the family.

She warned us, "Have no expectations about what your child is going to look like." 

I have thought about this over and over -  her wisdom has permeated many aspects of my life, whether she intended it to or not.

Not only did my first child come out with hair and skin so dark I would have thought they handed me the wrong baby if I hadn't been awake for the whole thing, but as she grew,  I realized she didn't always think like me, either.

I learned to have no expectations.

From a young age, I learned she had her own ideas in life about the world around her.  She didn't see the world through my eyes, she saw it through her own.

It wasn't wrong, it wasn't rebellion, she wasn't rejecting me.

She just wasn't a little Mini-Me.

She didn't follow my exact taste in clothes, decorating,  or crafts.  She didn't like sewing.  She didn't like museums. She didn't like camping. 

As I learned to let go of my ideas on how things should look, should function and should be, I was blessed to see her own taste, confidence and faith develop. 

This was a valuable lesson to learn, since she was the first of six children.  

I am not raising children to be imitators of me, I am raising children who were knit together in my womb by the Heavenly Father, who created them with their own personalities, gifts and abilities.

If they are to imitate anybody completely, it should be the Lord Jesus.  Our example is supposed to point them to Him.

1 Corinthians 11:1
Imitate me,
just as I also imitate Christ..

Jana and I celebrating her gradution from High School
at the top of the Space Needle.

She doesn't like this picture of herself,
but I think she is beautiful.

Jana likes this picture, but I don't like the picture of myself.
We still don't always agree.

Even though I tried to not conform her into my image,
and even though she tried not to be just like me,
we ended up a lot more alike that we ever imagined.

Ya' know what?

We're both really, really happy about that.

3 John 1:4
I have no greater joy
 than to hear
that my children walk in truth.


  1. BUT you are both radiantly beautiful...truly.

  2. Love this post!
    (Most of mine came out looking just like Daddy :-)

  3. WONDERFUL BLOG! (: I just loved it. You're so right, Mindy. Not to grow a Mini-Me but someone to imitate my love for our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.

    I just love that even though each of us 5 sisters in my family is quite different we are all growing more and more to look like each other. Haha. We can't even pretend to not know each other if we wanted to. Good thing we don't want to. :)

  4. This blog turned out perfect. I was having a hard time putting all my thoughts into my blog, so this blog was the perfect sequel! It mirrored alot of what I was thinking.. See we are a good fit! Love you

  5. Great post with great truths you shared! My oldest son is just like me and my middle son is a complete opposite. It took me a long time to learn not to try to mold him into what I think he shoudl be, but to enjoy the gift and blessing that he is created to be. Love the pictures, what a beautiful family! Thank you for your kind comments and encouragment on my blog. I just LOVE it when you stop by for a visit!!! Blessings to you.

  6. Reading this made me think of me and my daughter. We're so very different, but alike in some really important ways.

    Thanks for sharing your blog with me!

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  8. Thank you for the encouragement through your blog and your comments on my blog. I will have to go check out the meme you mentioned.

    Thank you for always having a positive word to share.

  9. Good for me to read today and now, I'll let it sink in awhile...


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