Mommy IS My Profession

I do not like filling out those long forms at doctor's offices.  That is definately one of the bummers about having cancer.

On most days, I remember to write my married name. Yea, even after 25 years of marriage on a frazzled day I might write my maiden name.  I've even spelled my name wrong - more than once. On a good day, I can even rattle down my address and phone number without hesitation. The six kids' names and birthdays?  Another trick question.  Just because I don't remember their birthday and the year they were born doesn't mean I'm a bad mommy, does it?

DOES IT?


The worst line to fill out is occupation.  After reading one of those email forward things years ago about the value of a mom, I started putting down Domestic Engineer. 

Then, I decided I don't need to come up with a fancy, impressive sounding title to try to make myself look better.  I'm proud of my profession.  So now I write down, boldly and proudly, MOMMY.  I am a Stay At Home Mommy.

I've seen eyebrows raised, but not heard any feedback.

However, sometimes when the paperwork gets back to me, I've noticed they've changed my occupation to UNEMPLOYED.  Unemployed means you're not working.  I work every minute I'm awake.  Even if I'm sitting, I'm refereeing disagreements, listening to hear who didn't flush the toilet,  trying to remember how old the milk really is, and wondering if there is any chocolate still hidden in the house somewhere.

Mommies even work when they should be sleeping, taking children poddy, giving drinks, soothing nightmares, stopping sleepwalkers and all those other things nocturnal offspring like to experience just the moment you are finally in REM sleep.

I will not be swayed, I still put MOMMY down for my occupation.
Imagine my delight to receive something in the mail honoring me in my chosen profession.  No, I didn't get Mother of the Year. I think you have to have matching clothes, a clean house, consistently call your kids by their correct names and make dinner more than once a week to qualify for that.  I was asked to represent my city at a glamorous conference for the NAPW.


I was hoping you would ask.  National Association of Professional Women.


I was SO impressed!  They finally are acknowledging that being a Mommy is a Professional Career!

For a split second, I was considering joining Ivanka Trump at the Waldorf Astoria for the First Annual NAPW Conference to benefit from the "exclusive and powerful networking forum"  and to "achieve social and career development."  I was wondering if all that networking would provide a powerful cure for diaper rash, a newly developed recipe for homemade playdoh or see if anybody has an exclusive idea for making a craft out of dryer fuzz.

However, going out in public for powerful networking with Ivanka  means I would have to have matching clothes, remember to pronunciate and spell my entire name, and talk in complete sentences. I'd be once again defending my claim that being a MOMMY is a profession to high-heeled lawyers and polished real-estate agents.

I think  I'll stay home and  experience that "exclusive and powerful networking forum" by playing dress-ups with child #6 and the neighbor kids.

After that, to "achieve social and career development," we'll pull out the dryer fuzz from the dryer, grab some glue, pipe cleaners, jingle bells and pom-poms and get busy creating my own craft idea.

After all, that's what I do best. 

I'm a Professional Mommy, ya' know.

Training Toddlers to be Teens

On Friday, I blogged my heart.  Why is Mothering so Hard?

On Saturday, I read a blog from a wonderful mom of four young kids who had one of THOSE days.  You know those days, when little fingers get into so many things, you don't have time to recover from one episode, before another drama unfolds before your eyes?  Those days when you wonder how someone not able to even speak in sentences can render you into the same condition.  Yea, one of those days.

Her blog made me miss little kids so much, it took me a few minutes to remember the overwhelmed feeling that often accompanied those little blessings.

I still have those days, but not with those kind of trials.
My kids now read books, not just throw them off the shelves or eat them.

My children no longer unwind a whole roll of toilet paper just for fun.  Not saying they've mastered hanging a roll of toilet paper, but I haven't seen this scene for years.

The kids are driving larger, more expensive vehicles we have to insure and fill with gas.  Road rage is absolutely NOT tolerated.

I miss little kids.  Having a "baby" who's 8 going on 24 is not the same as being the mom of a baby or a toddler. I love my kids at every stage, but I miss those early years.

I miss little problems.  I miss the simplicity of wiping up spills and putting away a bajillion Legos for the kajillionth time.  At the time these problems seemed so hard, and they were, but now seem so simple compared to the situations we face now.

As I look back on those early years, there is more than just love of little ones tearing at my heart.  There's regret.  I didn't completely understand what I was doing.

I loved what I was doing.  I planned to be a mom.  I prayed faithfully.  I studied the Bible.  I asked older women questions.  I was in my element, serving in the career I had chosen - MOTHERHOOD.

But, somehow, I missed out on some important aspects of parenting.  I didn't understand the small problems, like spilled milk,  were preparing me for larger problems.

I also didn't understand I needed to handle my children's small problems in a way that would build trust and confidence so they'd come to me with their bigger problems. Over reacting and ungodly anger can prove inability to handle their problems.  If you're faithful in little issues, you'll be prove faithful in larger issues.
Do you want your teenager to come to you and confess the true details of how they dented your car? Be patient and gracious now when they tell you how they broke your glass or your vase.  Yes, they still might be reprimanded  for playing ball in the house, but they have to know you value their right standing with the Lord and their safety more than your possessions.

Do you want your teenager to come to you and discuss all friendship/relationship problems? Begin now training their relationship skills and your listening skills in dealing with their sibling confrontations.  Hear both sides.  Teach them to confess and ask for forgiveness.  Let them know that nothing they tell you will freak you out.  Allow them to entrust their relationship problems to you.

Do you want a teenager to admit to their weaknesses?  Don't deride and rail on them for their weaknesses as children.  Have a bed wetter or one hard to poddy train?  Be patient.  Be encouraging.  Be supportive.  Even when you have washed the bedding for the third night in a row, bite your tongue. Do you have a child prone to stealing?  Lying?  The goodness of God leads to repentance, deal with them with firmness and a determination to find the truth, but in a spirit of grace and not offended anger. But, let them trust you with their weaknesses.

Picture how you want your children to act as teenagers and young adults.  Then trace backwards to the stage they're at now.  Pray for wisdom, and ask the Lord to show you how to root out sin in their life, teach them to apply the Word of God to their weaknesses and help them grow into that godly young adult you envisioned.

I Thessalonians 5:14

"Now we exhort you, brethren,

warn those who are unruly,

comfort the fainthearted,

uphold the weak,

be patient with all."

Motherhood, despite having those days, is still the best job I've ever loved.

Why is Mothering So Hard?

For years we  primarily looked after ourselves. Yes, we served others, but in the timing and way WE chose.   Some of us taught Sunday school, Bible studies or worked with youth groups.  We might have babysat, worked with Daily Vacation Bible school or a kids Bible club ministry.  We might have even been very, very active in working with younger people, but it was usually according to OUR schedule.

Now, as a Mom, there is no timing, no control. 24/7 you're on call for the needs, desires and even wants of your kids. It can be tiring. It can be utterly exhausting. 

It can be hard to discern at 2am if the cry is a need to be fulfilled, or a want to be ignored. Answer their cry or let them cry it out? Pick them up and comfort them or let them learn to comfort themselves back to sleep?

 When do you stop what you're doing, intervene in a situation, and when do you ignore?

 When do you make them eat, and when do you allow them not to? When do YOU eat?  When do you play with them and when do you make them entertain themselves?


I don't think I initially understood that

parenting is setting myself aside and putting my children first.

I saw them as an addition to my life, not my entire life. I loved my children.  I wanted a houseful of children.  I just didn't know how much I would have to give.

I quickly learned. Fulfilling their basic needs took way more than I expected  I'd need to give.  Time for Mommy to read, craft, sew, bake, visit, shop and talk on the phone could not come first. Sometimes it was an easy sacrifice because I love babies and small children so much, and was thrilled to have my own.  Sometimes, it was a hard sacrifice.

Why is Mothering so hard?

It showed more ugly than I expected was beneath the surface.

I never expected to get impatient with a little one who whined just because they wanted to be held in my arms, again.

I never expected to be frustrated that a little one couldn't master a new skill that would relieve me, even slightly, of some of the burden of their care.

I never expected my heart to be cold to the cry of a little one, just because my bed was so warm. It wasn't always with a joyful heart that I bounded out of bed to pick up a precious little one.

I never expected that every sin hidden in the corners of my heart, mind, body and soul would be stirred to the surface by these precious little ones entrusted to my care. 

I never expected it, but the Lord did. That's why He allowed it.

 Why is Mothering so hard?  Because Fathering is so hard!

I also learned God the Father is never impatient when I need to be held in His arms, again.

I also learned He is infinitely patient when I can't master the victory over sin that would relieve Him some of the burden of my care.

I also learned when I cry out to Him in the darkest of night, He never sleeps nor slumbers.

I also learned that whatever ugly sins are stirred to the surface during my parenting, He will cleanse and send them as far as the east is from the west.

I never expected it, but the Lord did.  That's why He allowed it.