Why is Mothering So Hard?

For years we  primarily looked after ourselves. Yes, we served others, but in the timing and way WE chose.   Some of us taught Sunday school, Bible studies or worked with youth groups.  We might have babysat, worked with Daily Vacation Bible school or a kids Bible club ministry.  We might have even been very, very active in working with younger people, but it was usually according to OUR schedule.

Now, as a Mom, there is no timing, no control. 24/7 you're on call for the needs, desires and even wants of your kids. It can be tiring. It can be utterly exhausting. 

It can be hard to discern at 2am if the cry is a need to be fulfilled, or a want to be ignored. Answer their cry or let them cry it out? Pick them up and comfort them or let them learn to comfort themselves back to sleep?

 When do you stop what you're doing, intervene in a situation, and when do you ignore?

 When do you make them eat, and when do you allow them not to? When do YOU eat?  When do you play with them and when do you make them entertain themselves?


I don't think I initially understood that

parenting is setting myself aside and putting my children first.

I saw them as an addition to my life, not my entire life. I loved my children.  I wanted a houseful of children.  I just didn't know how much I would have to give.

I quickly learned. Fulfilling their basic needs took way more than I expected  I'd need to give.  Time for Mommy to read, craft, sew, bake, visit, shop and talk on the phone could not come first. Sometimes it was an easy sacrifice because I love babies and small children so much, and was thrilled to have my own.  Sometimes, it was a hard sacrifice.

Why is Mothering so hard?

It showed more ugly than I expected was beneath the surface.

I never expected to get impatient with a little one who whined just because they wanted to be held in my arms, again.

I never expected to be frustrated that a little one couldn't master a new skill that would relieve me, even slightly, of some of the burden of their care.

I never expected my heart to be cold to the cry of a little one, just because my bed was so warm. It wasn't always with a joyful heart that I bounded out of bed to pick up a precious little one.

I never expected that every sin hidden in the corners of my heart, mind, body and soul would be stirred to the surface by these precious little ones entrusted to my care. 

I never expected it, but the Lord did. That's why He allowed it.

 Why is Mothering so hard?  Because Fathering is so hard!

I also learned God the Father is never impatient when I need to be held in His arms, again.

I also learned He is infinitely patient when I can't master the victory over sin that would relieve Him some of the burden of my care.

I also learned when I cry out to Him in the darkest of night, He never sleeps nor slumbers.

I also learned that whatever ugly sins are stirred to the surface during my parenting, He will cleanse and send them as far as the east is from the west.

I never expected it, but the Lord did.  That's why He allowed it.

Why I Sometimes Don't Like to Cook

It was going to be a simple plan.   I would make 2-3 batches of quick bread for the freezer, something I used to do in about two hours time. I thought I would be done by lunch. We have a busy weekend coming up with company and  a special one day Bible conference on the Tabernacle at our fellowship, and I needed to start the week by attacking my To-Do List.

I think I got attacked.

Starting with my traditional Kirsti's Cranberry Bread recipe, the first ingredient caused trouble.  Not only was my newly filled flour container almost empty, (it holds 20 pounds), flour was spilled all over my cupboard.  I vacuumed it up.

My sifter wasn't working very well.  Someone was trying to be helpful and washed it.  To add insult to injury, they put it back in the flour bin slightly wet - wet enough to form a hard residue along the edges.  I pried out as much as I could and got the sifter to work slightly better.

I had to fill the sugar cannister and wash the outside.  Someone had grabbed it with cookie dough all over their hands and it had hardened into tiny mountain ridges.

I managed to quarter and rinse the cranberries and add the rest of the ingredients. I was humming along at a clumsy pace, until I realized I could only find two of my four mini muffin pans.  Of course, none of the kids knew where they were. 

This little nagging thing razzled my brain until I pulled the bottom drawer of the stove out all the way.

There they were!  I wasn't sure if I wanted to retrieve them. 

Do I still believe the kids use a dust pan?

Had to vaccuum out the drawer while I was down there.

When I tried to grab the muffin papers, this is what I found.  Another mess to clean up.

When I was done with that and went to empty the hand vacuum, I realized someone had vacuumed up something ooey, gooey and white....

like bird poop?

butter?

do I want to know?

I had to soak the vacuum and go back to bake my muffins. 

By the time I got them in the pan it was already past 1pm.

By 2pm I was almost defeated, but determined to start and finish Whole Wheat Banana Bread.

I pulled the last loaf out around 5pm.

I used to think it was because I have been sick

and I am tired

and out of practice

and my brain is fuzzy around the edges

and I am aging

and I am forgetful

that it is so hard to function in the kitchen.

Sometimes, I just plain ol' forget there are six people in this house cooking.

Six people using supplies.

Six people using all the utinsels.

Six people messing up the stove and fridge and counters and cupboards.

Six people makes twelve hands.

That's a whole lotta mess-making, I kept grumbling to myself today.  It was a challenging day. It was like peddling your bike when the chain has fallen off.  A lot of motion, but you just don't get anywhere.

But, that's also five other people creating and cooking and tasting and giggling

-usually for me-

-so I don't have to-

-to surprise me-

-to encourage me-

-to help me-

So, why didn't I remember that today, instead of just now when I am blogging about my frustrating day?