Wednesday, February 17, 2010

JOY Filled the Empty Chair

Since I was 12,  I wanted six kids.
 I started saving my toys,
without hardly playing with them,
for my six kids.
I had five kids in 8 1/2 years.
I was off to a good start.
But, no number six.

For years I waited.
The five chairs on the sides of the table were awkward.
Two on one side,
three on another.
I was bothered by more than just the lack of symmetry.

I knew someone was missing.

I waited and trusted the Lord.
I rejoiced when my friends had babies.
I held them and loved them,
my salty tears flavoring my kisses.

Barreness is noticed
when a young couple gets married and isn't blessed with children.
Who would believe someone blessed with five children
 could agonize over her barren womb?
So, I rarely spoke of the agony of my empty arms.

I trusted and waited.
I asked the Lord to fill my arms or empty the longing from my heart.

At 38, when I had resigned myself to being done,
we discovered we were pregnant.

I was old, I was tired,
but my desire was fulfilled,
with the birth of Rebekah Joy.

Little did I understand God's plan.
I always called Beka
"My Company in My Old Age,"
but I never really understood the impact of the timing.

Through the years of cancer, this little one has given us extra reason
to rise each morning with the excitement a toddler brings,
to smile through the pain,
to laugh when we wanted to cry,
to give her the same happy childhood the others had.

My other five are wonderful and support me in the ways older children can.
They clean, they cook, they ask me how I am doing.
They pray for me.
They encourage me.
They love me.
I am so blessed by my older children.

But, our little Beka Boo?
She brings the joy we all need,
with her smiles,
songs and

She fills more than just that extra chair around the dining room table.


  1. How sweet. What an incredibly special blessing God had saved up for just the right time. He's so like that!

    And yet, it could all go unnoticed if you didn't stop to take the time and give thanks for her.


  2. I understand just what you are talking about. I was thrilled to find out we were expecting #6 (and that it was a girl and the numbers could be balanced) in 9 and a half years of childbearing (after a 5 year wait of infertility in the beginning) and then to find out that she was no longer with us was hard to take. I still find myself saying she would have been born in 4 months. I had been either pregnant or nursing (my baby would not nurse anymore when I became pregnant- I was very sad of this) for 9 and a half years and did not know how to take it when the doctor said that we could not get pregnant for 1 year ( I always had healthy pregnancies and deliveries). One year is very short, but it seems like eternity when you are already 35. I am thankful that God is in control and I am not! God knew that you needed your sweet little girl during this most difficult time in your life. It is sweet that she writes you these encouraging notes. She brings the needed sunshine, smiles, and laughter into your days. Thank you for sharing this story.

  3. <3 Very very sweet!

    I am glad your table is filled and you have your little love in your life.

  4. FIVE kids in EIGHT years! WOW!
    What a beautiful blog for Rebekah to read. She is a sweet heart. I am glad we were able to meet her and spend time with her at camp last summer. Lord willing we will all meet again this summer as well.

  5. Always the positive woman! What a wonderful post about your daughter. Children do bring laughter and distraction, don't they?! Always praying.

  6. Wonderful post! What a blessing! :) God is good.

  7. Yes, beka boo is our Joy. And ... our 5 "adultish" kids are the love of our life.

  8. Every good and perfect gift comes from above!
    His timing is perfect. It is lovely to come over and read your positive and God glorifying posts, even knowing the trials you have.
    God continue to bless you Mindy.

  9. Mindy- your blog is always such an encouragement. Thank you.


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