Thanking As Much As Begging

Last year I taught my daughter

How to Not Nag a Husband.

Actually, I thought I was teaching her how to politely

cash in on a promise without being a dripping faucet.

Afterall, she wasn't asking her daddy

for something out of his control,

she was just asking for something he'd promised.

With my advice, she stopped greeting my husband

every

night at the front door asking,

"Daddy, when are you going to build my playhouse?"

 

She stopped waking him up

every

Saturday morning asking,

"Are you going to build my playhouse today?"

She just left signs everywhere.

It was quiet.

It wasn't nagging.

It worked.

We got what we wanted.

We have played, pretended, snacked, tea-partied our hearts out.

The loft holds a double mattress, so we have slumber parties

where we watch movies,  eat snacks,

chew gum instead of brushing our teeth before bed,

then fall asleep holding hands.

This little home her daddy prepared for us has been

a huge, huge, blessing.

 

One day, I was convicted to tears.

I did a great job of teaching Rebekah

 to ask her Daddy for an answer to a promise.

I didn't properly teach her to thank him.

Oh, we said thanks on more than one occasion.

She is delighted and will spontaneously hug and thank her Daddy.

She tells others how thankful she is for her Daddy.

But, our thanks didn't match the magnitude of

asking

or the magnitude of

blessing

 we'd received.

To remedy the situation,

Rebekah and I giggled and planned and shopped.

We invited Daddy to a party.

A big party.

On the colorful banner we wrote

Thank You.

Beka and her Guest of Honor.

Kisses of thanksgiving for the carpenter.

Let the festivities begin!

Scott's love language is hand-written cards.

(I know that's not exactly what the book says,

but it's exactly what he wants.)

Beka's handwritten words of love and gratitude.

This was his favorite part of the celebration.

So, you all know where I'm going with this,

doncha'?

Every day,

all day long,

 our Heavenly Father

fulfills His promises to us.

I'm convicted that my

prayers of thanksgiving

don't match the magnitude of

blessing received.

Hebrews 13:15
By Him therefore let us offer the

sacrifice of praise

 to God continually, that is,

the fruit of our lips
giving thanks

 to His Name.

Thank you, Daddy.

Thank you, Heavenly Father.

 

How To NOT Nag A Husband

You're never too young to learn how to be a good wife.

At only 8 years old, Rebekah learned a valuable lesson in

nagging.

You know that drippy faucet thing wives like to do?

Sometimes daughters do it, too.

No, she didn't learn it from me....I don't think...

or maybe I just won't admit it...

Anyhoo...

awhile ago,

like a few years ago,

a certain Daddy promised a certain little girl a

playhouse.

He was sincere,

he was excited,

he just didn't act as soon as he spoke.

The minute you mention something to kids they want it to happen.

Do any of you NOT tell your kids about something

exciting that is going to happen in the future,

just because you don't want to hear about it

all the time?

Dear Daddy forgot that little trick.

Little Rebekah decided her biological clock was ticking

and she needed that

playhouse

built before she outgrew it.

She started asking,

"Daddy, when are you going to build my playhouse?"

Almost every night when he came home from work,

"Daddy, are you going to start on my playhouse tonight?"

On the weekends she was relentless

because she knew Daddy had more free time.

I realized she was very quickly approaching that fine line wives

dance on and around  to get the perfect balance -

reminding enough to get a project done

but not

nagging.

So, Beka and I had a little talk.

I explained men don't like to be nagged.

Sure, they might need gentle reminders, but they can't be nagged.

The more you nag, the less they'll listen.

It's that simple.

She listened and responded.

She quick asking.

The next morning, this was on our dresser.

This was on the lamp on Daddy's side of the bed.

This was on his computer.

This was on the sink "so he'd see it when he brushes his teeth," she said.

There was even one in the hallway,

where Daddy would see it on his way to and from work.

I was amazed.

The thing all parents long for and dream about happened.

She took my advice!

Even better than that,

she came up with a plan of action I hadn't imagined.

When she and I came back from California

this was hanging around the backyard.

 Rebekah's  heros are her Daddy (left) and Uncle Joel.

Uncle Joel is the professional carpenter,

hubby is the weekend warrior with sore thumb to prove it...

that stinkin' hammer did it again.

Beka and I love the

playhouse.

We've spent hours together playing, decorating, sewing, painting,

sleeping, snuggling and dreaming.

More than just a little girl's dream come true,

it symbolizes a mommy's dream come true.

A child took my advice and it worked.

I'm wondering what future blessings await her if she continues to practice

reminding enough to get a project done

but not

nagging.

I'm also wondering what futurue blessings await if I keep taking my own advice.

You're never too old to learn to be a good wife.

Cultivating a Bountiful Imagination

Read the previous post,

Using Your Imagination

**********

Cultivating an imagination in our kids requires an imagination on our part. We sweat  and ache while we cultivate, but we must imagine a future bountiful harvest.

The kid who uses all your extra sheets to  built forts may someday  be designing buildings.

The kid who scribbled on every scrap of paper, your walls, your floors and in every book, may be selling those scribbles as an artist.

Or, their childhood ambitions and creations may not have any other impact than providing wonderful memories.

That's enough for me.

Somedays require more imagination than others to cultivate an imagination in our kids.

Some of us Type-A women so desperately love a clean and orderly home, it's hard to give liberty to  the children to make a creative mess.  Messes are necessary to learning.  I teach my children to pick up after themselves and  have worn myself out reminding my children to not leave a trail in their work and play. But, there are times we have to relax the rubber bands and just let them make a mess.

Instead of walking into a trashed bedroom or playroom and being angry, begin asking what they were doing.  Let them explain the world they made, then, go on with the gentle admonition to clean.  Our response to their creative mess can stifle their imagination.

There is a difference between "naughty" mess and "creative" mess.  Naughty is not putting away clean clothes, or making bed when asked.  Creative mess is from playing.  That's not naughty.  Playing is a child's job.

Cultivate an Imagination

Like You Would a Garden

1.  Hire the Laborers. 

Mom, you're hired.  You're an integral part of the process. 

(Inspiration from the Imagine Children's Museum, Everett, WA)

I learned early in parenting, it's really easy to forget why you're home. Cleaning, cooking, laundry and errands demand necessary attention, and guilt usually comes with relaxation.  Remind yourself you're home for the KIDS not the HOUSE!  Enjoy playing with your kids. 

Every parent in different in what they want to do in participating with their children.  I don't like reading  out loud.  It pains me.  I surround my kids with books, allow them time to read, and have forced myself to read to them because it's the right thing to do.

Make a fort in the family room and crawl in with books and snacks?  I'm all over it.  Set up a house for all the Strawberry Shortcake dolls?  I'm in.  A tea party on the deck?  I'll be there. 

Encourage the siblings to be compatible co-laborers in the work of cultivating an imagination. Seek activities that will involve the various ages and genders of your children.  Teach them to play together.

2.  Break up the soil of normalcy and conformity.

Have you ever seen the pull start on an older cultivator?  You prime and crank, prime and crank, and before you know it, the engine is roaring and the hardened soil is being broken into clods. 

All my kids love character toys, but it can be more challenging to stimulate creative play.  Flying Buzz Lightyear through the air and yelling "To Infinity and Beyond" quickly becomes boring, so he might get buried in the finite bottom of the toybox.

A few suggestions for adventures, rescues, conflicts or travels with their favorite toys can pull start their play.

What can you make for that character?  A new cape?  A bed or sleeping bags?  Food from clay or felt?  How can you embellish the world of their cherished character?

Let them figure out things on their own. In other words, allow them to make mistakes. Sometimes, they can come up with a better way, a better idea.

Look for "Oh, that's how it's done" moments in the world around you. We have stopped the car to let the kids watch simple things like:

1. concrete being poured to make a sidewalk
2. roof being put on a house with a crane
3. cars unloaded from a semi

We take discovery walks in the neighborhood. The same ol' neighborhood, the same yards, the same plants. But, what we can notice that is different? Anything budding? Insects around? Birds building nests? Look deeper beyond the same surface.

I do admit, I have lost more broom handles than I care to remember due to teepee building.

3.  Plant Seeds of Excitement

Buy toys that encourage imagination. We purposely bought a lot of Legos, Duplos, Erector Sets, Lincoln Logs and Tinker Toys.  One set is NOT enough, especially if you have several children. I rarely bought the toys new, they were easily found at thrift stores and garage sales.  It's better to have a LOT of one type of toy than just a little amount of many kinds of toys. 
Expose kids to variety of experiences,  books, museums, musics, languages, foods, architecture, art....anything to experience with the senses can stir up passion for life, learning and experiencing.

Have supplies accessible and useable.  My mom always had a few drawers in her sewing cabinet filled with scraps of fabric, laces, buttons and felt.  We were allowed to use anything in any way in those drawers.  I've done the same for my kids with arts and crafts supplies.

4.  Pull Weeds that Interfere with the Seeds Planted

It's too easy to video-sit our fussy kids.  Nothing brings calm faster than throwing in a video.  Use this relief wisely!  Don't allow yourself to give in often, don't take the easy path, take the best path.  When kids say they're bored and don't know what to do, give them a few options.  Think of something to pretend, play or create.  If my kids didn't take any of my play offers, there were always offers for chores, especially offers to clean the toilets.

Limit time on electronic games and computers.  There is benefit from being computer savvy and playing educational games, but we wise in deciding when it begins to impair instead of instruct.

Too many structured activities and sports leaves little time for creativity. Being a good team player is only one aspect of maturity we need to develop in our children.

5.  Enjoy the harvest.

Enjoy seeing the world through their eyes and listen to their descriptions.  Admire and display their handiwork.  Thrill in the animation of some adventure in the backyard. Watch their plays.  Listen to their songs.  Thrill in their growing sibling relationships.

Wipe the sweat brought on by cultivating, and feast on the harvest.  You're growing a bumper crop of Imaginative Kids.