Ears Should Hear

  Yeah, the Lord created ears  to hear.

 

We know that.

Proverbs 20:12

The hearing ear and the seeing eye,
the LORD has made them both.

 Little kids know that.

 

Husbands don't always know that.

 

Well, husbands know ears are for hearing,

but I'm pretty sure they have a shut-off valve wired in their ears.
They know HOW to use their ears,
they like to decide WHEN to use them.

 
Little kids are obvious when they're  ignoring you.

 They keep their head down and

concentrate on their book, their toy,

or whatever they deem more important
than the avalanche of words falling off your tongue.

 

A husband isn't so obvious.

He'll smile and nod,
giving  monosyllabic words of affirmation,

so you think he's listening and agreeing.

It's only later when you reaffirm plans,  go spend the money,

or plan an outing,  he's busted.

Then the wife begins the quizzing, the drilling, the accusations.

"You never listen to me."
"What did I say about _______?"
"Who did I tell you called today?"
"When are we going out to dinner with the Smiths?"

 

 

As a young bride, I was devastated.

I had envisioned an adoring husband clinging to my every word.

As a young groom, I'm pretty sure he was devastated, too.

I don't think he envisioned having a young bride

who could talk the hind leg off a mule (name that movie)

and expect him to remember

every.

single.

word.

 

I learned a few things early on.

There are good reasons why a man doesn't listen,

and each wife has to figure out what turns the shut-off valve

in her husband's ears.

 

Once we both learned to apply what we knew

about communication, it became easier.

 

I've even trained the kids to look for that glassy look

in Daddy's eyes that tells them
the porch light's on,

but nobody's home.

Daddy might see lips moving and hear noises,

but he might not be listening.
He might still be at work.
He might be balancing the budget.
He might be planning a trip to Hawaii.
(Ya' never know, it could happen again!)

 

They are to politely and respectfully get Daddy's attention,

first his eyes,
then his ears,
then they can talk.

The Lord used a different method to make a man hear.

Mark 7:31-35
 "And He... put his fingers into his ears,
and he spit, and touched his tongue"


 I haven't tried that.
I thought about demanding a hearing test, but spitting is out of question.
 
 Prior to this healing, the Lord commanded three times in Mark
"If any man have ears to hear, let him hear."



I can joke about my husband's ears, but mine are no different.
The words go in the ear canal, but not always into the heart.
That's why the Lord had to give us this command.
He knew His people would have trouble listening to His Word.

Glassy-eyed,  we smile and nod our way through the Scriptures,
the words tickling our eardrums, but not impacting our lives.

We  should be that eager bride hanging onto every Word,
doncha' think?

Well, doncha'?

Hey, are you listening to me?
 

Ya' Know What My Hubby Just Did?!?!

When I was first married, I worked in a secular environment

and was soon exposed to the American sport of
"Husband Bashing."

It wasn't for the purpose of learning how to be a better wife
and learn to deal with some of those "husband issues,"
it was to ridicule them.

In one year, Scott and I were one of five couples who got married.
The women who spoke highly of their husbands are still married.

Not scientifically calculated, just an observation.

It's easy to be a Christian testimony by just
not talking negatively
about your husband.

Easy to preach,

hard to do.

Like all of you,

my husband can drive me crazy!

In all fairness, I drive him crazy, too,

and that's why we came up with this simple rule

early in our marriage.

We promised to never talk about
one another in a negative fashion.

Personal problems, fights and experiences in marriage are only to be shared

after resolution for the purpose of ministry and encouragement.

I talk and blog about him only
when my heart is right and I really don't  secretly wish
he had chosen another course of action.
Once I learned to laugh and enjoy my husband's craziness,
it blossomed more.
He's the sunshine of our family,
even though he
has bad manners,
leaves messy trails,
has an addiction,
does Redneck Repairs,
feeds my kids a lot of sugar,
got a parking ticket,
and can't make cookies.

 But there are things I will never share.

Why Not to Talk:
1. We erode the foundation of our husband's spiritual headship
when we share his faults in front of others.
It may be harder for your children, relatives and other believers
to value him as they should if you've share too many failings.

(I'm not talking about covering up sin that should be disciplined,
I'm talking about normal, every day type struggles and habits.)

2.  Talking may keep us from praying.
Our main duty when we see a fault or a struggle,
is to talk to the Lord constantly about the issue.
Talking to someone makes you feel better,
but won't change your husband. 
If only the Holy Spirit can provide the solution,
why not tell only Him the problem?

3. When we verbally disagree with a decision he's made and do it our way,
we teach our kids to get their own way behind Dad's back.
If a child has grown up with a mom who scorns her husband's guidance
or secretly finds ways to run things her own way when he's at work,
a child will do the same.
They'll  smile pleasantly to Dad's face, but defy behind his back.

Women may gossip under the guise of
sharing prayer requests.

An older woman, Carol, gave me the best advice
for handling this misguided spiritual activity.
When a woman starts sharing something about her husband
that's making you uncomfortable, stop her and say,
"Let's pray about this right now."

If she's sincere, she just found someone faithful
 to walk her through her trials and help her build a stronger marriage.
If she's wanted to gossip,  she won't come to you again.


Women may not share prayer requests because

they fear gossip.

Some women really are in troubled marriages.
Unfortunately, we've known Christian husbands that have struggled with
drinking, faithfulness, anger and abuse.

Especially during the times that a husband  like this won't seek help,
a woman desperately needs help.
She may be slow in opening up, because she fears others will
skip the "prayer" and focus on sharing the "request."

When to talk:

If you've prayed, searched the Scriptures, talked with hubby

and still don't have answer concerning how you should be handling your
part of the problem, you may need Biblical advice and encouragement.

Choose a woman you and your husband are comfortable with,

 who knows the Scriptures, won't share your confidences and will

 forgive your husband without holding a grudge.

(Unfortunately, there may be times is a woman's life,
when her health and  spiritual welfare are in danger
 and she needs to confide without her husband's approval or knowledge.)

Why To Talk

When you want to build up your husband,
teach your children what a good father they have,
make single women jealous :),
be a good testimony,
give a good spiritual example,
or make someone laugh,
then you  can tell hubby stories.

Then you have the right to exclaim,
"Ya' Know What My Hubby Just Did?"


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Other blogs in a similar line

Dad, That's Not the Way You Do That!

What If Daddy IS Wrong?

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