Keep on Keeping On

Sometimes I don't even think about the deep spiritual definition or the wisdom behind the phrase "keeper at home,"  I just use it to cheer myself on.

I tell my self to "keep on keeping on."

In the simplest explanation, we are "keepers at home" because we  keep on doing the same things
over
and over
and over
and over
and over.

Take washing dishes.

When I had all six children at home, I used 8 plates per meal, 3 times a day, 364 days a week. That's 8,760 plates in a year. In 20 years, that was 175,200 plates to be washed.

The count would be the same for glasses, but tripled for silverware.

That isn't counting serving dishes, pots and pans or the additional dishes at holidays and for company. We have a LOT of company.

It also isn't subtracting the mountains of disposables I have used, so I guess it comes out even.

It also comes out that I am washing the same dishes
over
and over
and over
and over.

It's amazing we don't wipe  holes right through the middle of our plates.

We wash the same clothes over and over and over.

Don't even get me started on the bedding if you have a bed wetter. Talk about testing of your faith to produce endurance!

We vacuum the same carpeting. Wash the same toilets. Mow the same grass.

We do the same things over
and over
and over
and over
and over.

Some of the chores are done monthly. Some weekly. Most daily. During the most trying times, several times in a day.

Ever have one of those kids that is famous for spilling their milk at every meal?

Ever have one of those kids that poops every time you put a clean diaper on them?

Ever have one of those Picassos that could find every marker within a ten mile radius of their little dimpled fingers?

As repetitious exercise brings strength, so do these chores bring strength, if we let it.

Haven't we prayed for humility? Haven't we prayed to be used? Haven't we prayed to be able to serve Him? Haven't we prayed that He would use our talents, gifts and abilities?

He  answers those prayers first and foremost through our jobs as wives and mothers.

We will build up those spiritual qualities we desire if we keep on keeping on.

We should count these mundane chores as our spiritual service to the Lord, serving Him as wives and mothers, and doing those same things

over

and over

and over

and over

and over.

As I start the first day of the first week of the  final month of summer vacation, I'm not aiming anything super exciting or glorious.

I am just going to Keep on Keeping On.

**********

To see what other bloggers are doing to jumpstart their week,

drop by Mom's the Word I Love to Hear for

Making Your Home Sing Monday.

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What's Your Daughter Going to Do Now?

Sometimes, we Christian moms are criticized or questioned for the way we want to raise our daughters. Family members, friends, other Christians and total strangers love to give their input when we don't follow the traditional path of having our daughters move out at 18 and incur a huge debt to get a college degree.

 We want to teach our daughters Titus 2, to love their husbands, children, be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, and to seek the Lord in all things.  We think higher education is to be sought if/when directed  by the Lord, not mandatory for every woman to "have something to fall back on."  I loved college and I love learning, but I do not think it mandatory, nor do I think it wise to bring debt into a marriage.

From birth we raise our daughters  to be nurturing, daring to say, teach and believe that motherhood is a honorable career. Until that time, or if the Lord desires them to be single,  we encourage them to pursue their interests that will compliment  desirable and godly qualities in a woman. We are not always supported in this mindset.

Ironically, when secular women come to these conclusions on their own, they are praised.

Scenario #1 -On the internet I found a corporate lawyer who quit to become a creative, green seamstress. Her website quotes she was, "disenchanted with life as a corporate attorney, she yearned to get back in touch with her artistic side and use the right side of her brain again." Her work is beautiful, her creations unique and she has truly created a niche in the market that is very successful. We all applaud her -she is truly amazing.

But, imagine how that would be accepted from our end, as homeschooling mothers raising daughters.

"What's your daughter going to do now that she is graduated?"

"She's starting a home sewing business. She's just going to make purses."

"Oh. That's all?  She's not going to college?"

"No, we would love her to embrace her creativity, live in a home environment and be able to work without the stress of the work force."

"Oh, so she's NOT going to college? She has to get out into the world sometime! Won't she need something to fall back on?"

Most of us older moms have had these conversations. Most of us have stopped offering complete information about what our daughters are doing, because we don't want to hear the  scorn of the world when they find out we aren't "letting" our daughters venture out to live on their own when they turn 18.



Scenario #2 - In a toy store the other day, the clerk was more than delighted to help me find a toy I was looking for. She also freely offered that she had left corporate America for the peace of selling toys. She boasted that she never brings work home anymore. She is happier and healthier.

Imagine that from our lips.

"Is your daughter looking forward to having a corporate career?"

"No, my daughter just wants to bypass corporate America and  work for a toy store."

"OH."  Big sigh of disappointment.


Scenario #3 - Feminists have been disappointed in how many highly educated women are not in the work force. When women have children they want to be with them. It's that simple. Not all of these highly educated women plan to return to work after their children are in school. They like being home.



So, what is wrong with just teaching our daughters to stay at home from the beginning?  Why do women need to take the college/debt/disenchanted corporate road before taking the road to  fulfillment?
Instead of saying, "I am teaching my daughters to be Titus 2 women" I wonder if it would be more acceptable if I said, "I am teaching my daughters how to avoid the disenchantment of the corporate world and stay in touch with their artistic sides."

It doesn't really matter, I have learned long ago that when I was pregnant with my third child  -

(But you have the perfect family, a boy and a girl, why do you want more children?) -

I would not be winning any popularity contests with my convictions.


No praise about the wise financial decision of teaching them not to start their future in debt for more than we paid price of our first home.


No praise for allowing them to learn to save to buy their first car, learning how to develope a good credit rating or maintaining a successful financial budget.

No praise for supporting them as they pursue their interests and ambitions.

No praise for keeping them safe.

No praise for building closer relationships as they mature into an adults.

No praise for teaching them relationships are more important than careers, status or wealth.

But, I am not setting out to be popular or to trying to please people with my life.

I am aiming to be the kind of mother who raises her kids according to the Bible and pleases the Lord.

I am setting out to be faithful.



(This is not meant to be a discourse against college or working women.  This is merely a comparison of the scorn I have experienced for teaching a conviction and learning forward,  verses the admiration for gaining a conviction and learning backwards. )

"I Wish I Made Enough Money….

….to stay at home with my children."



I was standing in the line of a grocery store in Kansas. I had just spent almost two hours shopping with my three little children, because I had a pile of coupons, a week of meals to make and $35 to spend.  It was the early 90's. Even with lower grocery prices, it wasn't a lot of money.

I STARED in disbelief. I couldn't believe her guilt would cause her to speak  with such sarcastic false humility without knowing my circumstances.

In a glance I noticed her heavily jeweled, manicured fingers, her expensive, matching (AND minus baby throw-up) clothing, her unscuffed high heels, nylons, her makeup, her purse. I took it all in. She might "need" to work, but I knew she spent a lot of money, if that one heavily accessorized outfit was any indication of her spending habits. She looked beautiful, but she wasn't happy.

I didn't want to blab my husband's salary out, but he was a teacher in a private Christian school and we were paying 1/4 of our salary to student loans. I was pretty sure our monthly salary was easily what they made in a week.

I polished my own fingernails.
My husband trimmed my hair and I had only 1 perm in 10 years.  (for the fashion of this decade, this was a sacrifice.)
I wore only hand-me downs and thrift store items.
I had never purchased anything new for my kids to wear at this point in my life.
I bought nylons once a year and washed them by hand to make them last.
I used the cheapest make-up and hair products I could find.
I sewed some of my kids' clothes from $1 a yard fabric.

I don't remember my exact words, but after processing the absurdity of her speculation, I let her know it was a spiritual decision to stay at home, not a financial one. I let her know we were choosing to raise our kids according to the Bible.

The cashier was a little more honest as she entered the conversation about my SAHM status.

"I don't stay at home with my kids, cuz I couldn't stand to. I mean, I love my kids, but they drive me crazy. When they're home at the holidays, I can hardly wait until they go back to school. But, you're a much more patient person, that's good that you stay at home with your kids. You're such a good mom."

I didn't stay at home because I was patient, either, although I appreciated her kind comment.

I have always been a Stay At Home Mom because I believe the Bible teaches it.

As a new believer, 18 and in college, I was searching for all those big answers in life. I remember rejoicing to discover that the Bible covered topics such as marriage, parenting, worrying, working and church structure. I diligently searched for answers, and the Lord graciously had already supplied them. It gave me guidance for decisions concerning my future.

Titus 2:3-5
"The aged women ... teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."

As much as that woman's comment went deep into my soul, I wasn't angered, I was offended, I wasn't defensive. I was sad for her.

I also stay at home because I love my kids and want to be with them.

All those sacrifices were, and continue to be,  worth it. I NEVER look back and think about what I couldn’t buy, the plain food we ate, or the inexpensive clothing we wore. The Lord provided sufficiently and we were joyously happy in the Lord's work and content with what He had provided.
I look back and cherish holding those babies.  I remember staring in their precious little faces, trying to imprint it on my mind and heart, knowing that each day they changed and grew.

I cherish being the one to see every first in their life.

I cherish the sweet memoring of playing with them, sleeping in tents with them, and teaching them them to craft, to cook, to sew, to paint, to create, to read, to garden, to ride a bike, jump rope, do a cartwheel, play games, cut with scissors...

I hugged and kissed  them every day. I looked into their eyes. I talked to them about the Savior. I read the Bible to them. I read books to them.

I cherished them.

Now, I cherish the memories when they were young and sometimes weep that those busy years are now fleeting memories.  When I see a young mom with all her little ones filling up her grocery cart, I am a little wistfully jealous.  I miss those years, because I loved being with all my children.
Today, I wonder about  that jeweled woman, who spoke with bitter jealousy, and what memories she revisits.

Somehow, I think she also looks back on her life  and weeps.

But, my heart tells me,  her tears are tears of regret.

"Lord, I just pray for this dear woman who impacted my life and heart so many years ago. I long for her to have peace and joy and slavation.  I ask you to comfort her, to hear her cries and answer her prayers.  Bless her, Lord.  Amen."




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