Pampered by the Chefs

Jon was my personal baking chef during the 25 days of low iodine diet required before the thyroid uptake scan.

He began by making a few delicious loaves of banana bread from the Low Iodine Cookbook compiled by the Thyroid Cancer Survivor's Association.  His heart to serve me and make my time more pleasant was such an encouragement to me.

Next, he made three loaves of whole wheat bread,

so I had my own bread for morning toast and sandwiches. 

It was amazing!

He tried to ask me a few questions,

but I said, "Hey, Jon, remember,
I haven't made bread in years!"
I could show him how to knead it,
but for the rest of his questions,
he turned to the Internet.

I actually quit making homemade bread when he was born-

baby #5 did me in.
I was a little tired.

How appropriate that he is now the breadmaker in the family!

He also made several batches of monster cookies,

adapted for my dietary needs.

That meant no chocolate, but they were still delicious.

To help ease the frustration of  the low-iodine diet,
my family does the majority of the cooking during this time.
Scott, Bethany and Grace cooked the meals,
brought me snacks if they suspected I wasn't full
from the 2.5 ounces of meat I could eat twice a day,
and did everything they could to make the burden lighter.

Because of their cooking,
and Jon's baking,
I felt pampered.

Pampered by the Chefs.

Gethsemane Moments

After 22 days of low-iodine diet,

I was finally ready for the next diagnostic step.

The night before, I felt that heavy weight that burdens my heart

when I know I am facing something hard.

This week of testing will determine treatment

for my third round of thyroid cancer.

I call them my Gethsemane moments.

I would love for the cancer cup to be taken from me.

But, until it is, I long to do His will.

It is not heaviness from depression,

it is the heaviness of reality.

Suffering is needful, it is for the Lord's glory,

but it is not easy.

But, just as Jesus cried out to His Father,

so I always cry out to my Heavenly Father.

I am never alone.

He hears my prayers.

He captures my tears in a bottle.

He loves me with an everlasting love.

 

My daughter, Bethany, accompanied me to the hospital.

We sat in the waiting room.

I always wonder how many other people sit,

with serious diseases and issues,

looking at the same waiting room,

knowing the test results could change their lives.

We  patients thumb through the magazines

only to pass the time,

and keep our minds going too far into the future,

where fear and doubt hold hands,

longing to race through the chambers of our minds.

So, we read about cholesterol,

movie stars ugly clothing choices and

recipes with ingredients we have never heard of

to drown out those little voices.

I always want to give the cleaning staff tips.

They never seem to dust the lower rungs of the chairs.

They always miss the 1/2 inch strip along the edge of the carpet.

It builds up into a little fuzzy racetrack around the rooms.

After the removal of a cancerous thyroid, patients take an artifical thyroid hormone. You take a higher dose than your body would normally produce to lower the TSH in your body.  The pituitary gland produces Thyroid Stimulating Hormone.  You don't want the thyroid cells stimulated if they're cancerous. You want them to chill out and go away.  My TSH has been artifically low for six years.

Since I need to take a small dose of radioactivite iodine on Wednesday,  now I need those cancerous cells stimulated.  They need to suck up all the RAI so they look like lightening bugs on the body scan.

Normally, patients have had to go off their thyroid medication for weeks to make the TSH levels go up.  Today, we can use two  Thyrogen injections and stay on our medication. I'm so thankful for medical advances!

After three weeks of no thyroid hormone, you can become seriously hypothyroid.

Fatigue
Sluggishness
Increased sensitivity to cold
Constipation
Pale, dry skin
A puffy face
Hoarse voice
An elevated blood cholesterol level
Unexplained weight gain
Muscle aches, tenderness and stiffness
Pain, stiffness or swelling in your joints
Muscle weakness
Heavier than normal menstrual periods
Brittle fingernails and hair
Depression

How many of you just diagnosed yourself with hypothyroidism? 

 Fess up! 

 Maybe that's why doctors put so many women's magazines in their waiting rooms. 

They want us all to self-diagnose

and make a lot more doctor appointments.

The shot stings and  makes me a little fatigued and achy,

but compared to the list of symptoms I could be experiencing,

I am very thankful.

Day One is Over.

It's All Perspective

At the beginning of January, when my husband turned 46, my stomach turned just a teensy-weensy bit anxious.  I was going to turn 46 next,  in August.  We'd crested the hill of middle-age and were going down the slippery slope to 50.

It sounded so old.  I was trying to convince myself that age doesn't matter, and all that stuff, but the lines on my face, the little double chin that disappears only when I tilt my head a little too far back to look normal and the wrinkled hands have proved the adage, "I'm not gettin' any younger."

But, with the return of my cancer for the third time at the end of January, I suddenly found 50 lookin' really good.

Now, I WANT to turn 50.

It's all perspective.

Our spiritual perspective can be distorted at times, too.

With my diagnosis came a rush of peace and joy and presence of the Lord.  I felt so uplifted, and I knew we would be able to endure yet another round.

Wednesday afternoon, circumstances found me alone in my home for four hours.  I could clean, organize, write, cross things off my To DO List with a vengeance. I've discovered that cancer has brought out the nesting instinct just like pregnancy.  Only now I come home from the hospital empty handed.

One of those items on the list was to call the hospital where I will be getting my treatment.  During my initial surgery and hospitalization for RadioActive Iodine 1-131, I had some very, very bad experiences.  They made several major mistakes. I just needed some affirmation that they were going to take care of me this time.
After talking to Molly for about 20 minutes, I was assured that things were different, there was a new room where I would be isolated for three days, I would have access to a DVD player, there were new drinks to choose from even with ice, and I could bring my computer.  Whew.

Before I could even cross anything off my list, I got a phone call from the hospital.  I was a bit surprised. I hadn't given them my full name.

It wasn't Molly, it was the scheduling department.

"Is this Melinda?" 
"Yes."
"You have a  body scan scheduled on Feburary 19th and we need to reschedule it."
"Reschedule?  Why?"
"The hospital isn't open on the 15th, so you wouldn't be able to do the full series of shots.  We need to reschedule."
"Why aren't you open?"
"It's President's Day and the hospital is closed."

In my mind I'm thinking, "How stupid can you be?  You've known for MONTHS its President's Day, how do you end up calling me two business days before my testing begins to tell me you're not open?"  I had made my appointment the same day I was diagnosed and had begun the diet immediately.

Instead, I bit my tongue and said with honest politeness, "Do you know how horrible this is?  I have to be on the low iodine diet for an extra week and now have to put off the testing for my cancer another week."

No sympathy.  No voice inflection.  The monotone repeated, "We need to reschedule. Your body scan is now on the 25th."

I didn't want to let her off the hook.  "Fine, I'll reschule for the 22nd to the 25th, but you have to know this is really affecting my life."

I was also thinking about the three lumps that grew in three months.  The new timetable put it at one full month from diagnosis to testing.  We still have treatment after that. These little things are growing too quickly for my comfort.

No sympathy.  No assurance. Just that same uncaring voice adding one more week to my sentence.

I hung up and for 30 seconds cried, but it took too much energy.  The hospital, the one I was trying to gain confidence in, had failed again. I worried that if I couldn't trust them for something as simple as scheduling appointments only on days the hospital was open, how could I entrust them with the actual treatment?  I was upset.  In fact, I surprised myself.  I took cancer from the Lord, but I couldn't take the calendar change from the Lord. I  had survived the tornado and been blown over by a whisper.

For days I had been mentally preparing myself to take heed lest I stumble.  Lack of faith  frequently follows a spiritual victory. There is something about the Lord getting glory that satan just doesn't like.  I was trying to beware, we cautious, to guard my heart and my soul.  My temporary lack of faith put me in good company with Elijah, Jonah and many others.

In my deepest disappointment, the Lord spoke to me.  He reminded me I am to have NO confidence in man.  I am to trust in Him alone.  He is the one who is going to heal me, if it is His will.  The medical staff will be instruments used for His purposes.

"And,"  I added under my breath, as I heard His voice, " if I'm healed, it will not be BECAUSE of the medical profession, but in SPITE of them."

It's all perspective.



(This blog has joined other at the FAB Friday at Blog Schmog.  Read how other bloggers have learned to turn lemons into lemonaid!)

Two Diets, One God

I had never been on a diet in my life until I came down with thyroid cancer.

The low iodine diet is challenging, but necessary.  By removing iodine from my body with changes in my diet, when it's injected into my body with radioactivity attached, it will go straight to my cancerous thryoid cells.

The smaller dose is used to diagnose.

A larger dose is used to kill the cancer.

Too much radioactivity over a lifetime could cause more cancer.

I was surprised to find out how many foods have iodine in them.  You eliminate all things made with salt because even though it is law that they are to label food "iodized salt" or "non-iodized salt" they usually don't. So anything prepacked, premade, store bought or made in a restaurant is eliminated.

Dairy is eliminated because they use iodine to wash the cows' udders, therefore iodine is in all dairy products.

Vitamins and supplements can contain iodine.

Seafoods contain iodine because of naturally occurring iodine in the oceans.

Red Dye #3 has iodine.

No egg yolks.

No soy products.

Additives made from seaweed have iodine.

Going out to eat is usually avoided, but I wanted to treat my girls.

Grace ate a Monster Burger.

Bethany at a Monster Burger.

Momma ate a bowl of vegetables and a plain lettuce salad.

My diet allows me to eat all the fruits and vegetables I want.

Because of iodine in feeds and the way they inject most meat with salt water, I am allowed five ounces of meat a day.

I am allowed one ounce of cheese a day.

I can eat four servings of breads, grains or cereals a day.

I can eat natural, saltless peanut butter.

I can eat unsalted nuts.

Everytime I eat my veggies, I think of my son, Daniel.

In January, he and two buddies, Mike and TJ, dedicated the month of February to the Daniel Diet, the diet Daniel followed in the Old Testament.  Along with the diet, they commited to more prayer to seek the Lord and commit themselves more fully to Him.

Daniel started his diet February 1st, the day I found out and began my low-iodine diet.

As I am munching away, I am reminded of how the Lord called three young men to walk the path with me.

I am encouraged.

And, I am not alone.

Sometimes hungry, but not alone.