JOY Filled the Empty Chair

Since I was 12,  I wanted six kids.

 I started saving my toys,

without hardly playing with them,

for my six kids.

I had five kids in 8 1/2 years.

I was off to a good start.

But, no number six.

For years I waited.

The five chairs on the sides of the table were awkward.

Two on one side,

three on another.

I was bothered by more than just the lack of symmetry.

I knew someone was missing.

I waited and trusted the Lord.

I rejoiced when my friends had babies.

I held them and loved them,

my salty tears flavoring my kisses.

Barreness is noticed
when a young couple gets married and isn't blessed with children.

Who would believe someone blessed with five children

 could agonize over her barren womb?

So, I rarely spoke of the agony of my empty arms.

I trusted and waited.

I asked the Lord to fill my arms or empty the longing from my heart.

At 38, when I had resigned myself to being done,

we discovered we were pregnant.

I was old, I was tired,

but my desire was fulfilled,

with the birth of Rebekah Joy.

Little did I understand God's plan.

I always called Beka

"My Company in My Old Age,"

but I never really understood the impact of the timing.

Through the years of cancer, this little one has given us extra reason

to rise each morning with the excitement a toddler brings,

to smile through the pain,

to laugh when we wanted to cry,

to give her the same happy childhood the others had.

My other five are wonderful and support me in the ways older children can.

They clean, they cook, they ask me how I am doing.

They pray for me.

They encourage me.

They love me.

I am so blessed by my older children.

But, our little Beka Boo?

She brings the joy we all need,

with her smiles,

laughter,

dress-ups,

plays,

songs and

love letters.

She fills more than just that extra chair around the dining room table.