Laundry Schmaundry - Sorting Out Secrets

Yesterday I revealed a dirty secret about myself.

I admitted to my faithful blog readers
I like doing laundry.

I came up with a cleverer (it's a fun word to say over and over)
 title for my blog when I posted it on Facebook,

but it was too late to change it.

Drats.  I am always clever too late.

Anyhoo, if I could, I would rename yesterday's blog

Laundry Drools, Hamper Rules.

Since you are now well-versed on putting laundry in the hamper,

 the second blog in my series
Laundry Schmaundry
reveals more dirty, dark secrets.

Er, make that

darks, reds, lights,

towels and whites

secrets.

Yep, ya' guessed right.

Momma Mindy's Sorting Secrets

I know yer' already thinkin',

"What's so hard about sorting laundry?"

I'm thinking as long as I still find pink things that used to be white

and nubby clothes at the thrift stores,

not everyone in the world knows how to sort laundry.

To keep your dirty laundry from getting dirtier by being stepped on
or being worn again by someone passing through the laundry room,
I recommend sorting bins.

It looks neater and is more efficient. 
You'll always know which load needs to be done.

 Mount Washmore won't be looming
as if the Cascade Mountains grew another peak overnight.

A friend uses a row of laundry hampers under a long counter.
I used to use kitchen garbage cans under a red chrome table.
A tension rod and curtain hid my dirty laundry.

When the hamper upstairs is full, I bring it downstairs and sort it.

Monday is normally my only laundry day,

but when I was doing laundry for all six kids,

one day a week wasn't enough.

I still started on Monday,

but then watched the sorting baskets.

When one basket got full, it got washed.

Sorting Rules:

1. Stains are sprayed before tossed into bin.  Gives

Spray-N-Wash a little extra time to work.

2.  Things in pockets are put

 in their laundry basket or a tin cup, unless it's money.

I keep all money.

It's never enough,

but the thought of having a few pennies and nickels to call mine

can offer a special incentive to doing laundry.

I nag ask the kids to check pockets,
but since their failure could mean ruined clothes,
I don't skip this step.

3. Damp items are hung on the edge of the baskets

to dry and prevent mildew.

4. Towels are  washed only with towels.

Jeans are the only exception, because they're the only fabric

that doesn't get nubby from tossing around the dryer with towels.

5. Whites are only with whites so they stay white.

One red sock can turn an ENTIRE basket of whites pink.

Personal experience will validate that.

6.  Reds are always washed alone.

I include their pink cousins, nothing else.

7.  Darks have their own basket because I normally

wash them in cold to maintain their color. 
Unless it's a load of a teenage boy's

dirty black socks, t-shirts and hoodies,

they get warm water and maybe a longer cycle.

8.  Lights usually show more dirt and don't leech color,
 so are washed in warm water.

9.  Sorting isn't just for color, but fabric weight. 

Once they're separated into their own baskets,

I might sort again as I'm filling the washer.

I don't wash heavy jeans and sweatshirts with lighter items,

because they take so long in the dryer and 

the lighter items will be overdried.

The Lord uses the sorting process, too.

He separates like a farmer separates

 wheat from the chaff or

the sheep from the goats.

He even sorts by color,

those dark with sin go in one pile and those

washed white in the blood of Jesus in another.

Psalm 51:2

Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,

And cleanse me from my sin.

The good news?

You can always be moved from the dark pile to the light pile.

Psalm 51:7

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.



He can wash away sin and make me
whiter than any of those stinky socks I try to bleach.

That's one little secret,
I can't keep to myself.

Laundry Schmaundry - The Hamper Rules!

My hamper doesn't rule,

I rule.

These are just the rules for my hamper.

Other women like cooking, so they post recipes.

I like laundry.

I know, I'm weird.

If you don't like laundry, I can help you.

I would do yours if you lived closer,

but since you don't, I'll share my secrets of success.

Momma Mindy's Hamper Rules

1. If it ain't in the hamper,

it's ain't gunna' get warshed.

(In honor of living in Kansas for seven years,

today I'm saying "warsh" instead of "wash."

Didja' catch that?)

Even though that's the rule,

the truth is,

 many times they put their dirty clothes in the hamper

after

I've finished the laundry.

It doesn't matter how many times I say

"It's laundry day!"

"You put your dirty clothes in the hamper, right?"

... there's still glitches.

Maybe the clothes were hidden under the bed,

because they were too embarrassed to show me their dirt,

'cuz I told them not to wear their Sunday clothes to play football.

Maybe they've stained a brand new shirt.

Other times, they're just lazy. 

They hear me calling, but choose not to answer.

They think what they're doing is more important than

what I want them to do.

But, I stick to this, unless they really need a certain item of clothing

and/or them going without their clean clothes would embarrass me.

But, the more you bend the rules, the more they will.

2.  No towels in the hamper.

We live in a very moist climate, things mildew quickly. 

I've had clothes ruined by being smothered

at the bottom of the hamper by a damp towel.

3. Hamper is fer dirty clothes, not clean ones.

If you don't have kids, yer thinking I'm an idiot.

If you have kids, yer runnin' for your marker to put this

statement of brilliance on your laundry hamper.

To clue in childless, hamper-issue-less wonderful readers,

kids love to shove their dirty clothes in the drawers,

and put the clean ones back in the hamper.

Sometimes, they shove them in the hamper still folded.

I know, it's absolutely unbelievable.

I know, if you had kids, they'd never do that.

Good luck with that one, honey.  :)

Lemme' know how it turns out,  because years from now,

I'll still need advice.

Yea, it's totally legal to sniff  the clothes in the hamper,

refold, and put them back with their clean clothes.

 

4.  The way clothes go in the hamper

is the way they go in the warsher.

The above display is one dirty t-shirt still clinging to

one dirty zip-up.  They will cling to one another in the washer, too.

If they're still clinging, they'll be tumbling around the dryer together.

With six kids I don't have time to pull apart a ton of laundry,

unroll those nasty sock balls, and pull undies out of the pants.

Yea, I had two examples, but didn't use the pics.

Don't want to humiliate my children too much.

But still, despite having rules to

protect their laundry and make it  easier

for Mommma Mindy to warsh their laundry,

they still break the rules.

Yea, it's annoying, frustrating and can make me crabby,

yea, me, I get crabby,

but I really do love my kids and I do love taking care of them.

I encourage myself with these verses:

Galatians 6:9

 And let us not grow weary while doing good,

for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

Philippians 2:14
 Do all things without complaining and disputing.

  

Each time they don't follow

the hamper rules,

 I have to decide if I'll make the child

live with the consequences

or

if I'll extend mercy and wash another load of clothes.

The Lord just knows what it feels like to be a parent

who's rules aren't followed.

He just has

way more kids

and way more piles of dirty laundry.

We just think we can shove it under the bed where He can't see it,

or we think the stain is so bad He can't cleanse it.

Sometimes, we ignore Him calling us when He notices our stains.

Let's go back to rule #1.

If it ain't in the hamper,

it's ain't gunna' get warshed.

Let's be good kids,

and toss our dirty laundry in His hamper.

'Member?  He's the one who can warsh it

and make it whiter than snow.