Unemployed Career MOMMY

When filling out any form, I hate the line that asks for OCCUPATION.

I used to feel quite superior and write in "Domestic Engineer."

I got tired of that and started writing in what I am most proud of in my life - MOMMY. Not mother, that indicates that you gave birth, but I write MOMMY, in capital letters. It's a title that indicates I roll in the grass, play dolls and Legos, beat them in Candy Land, rollerblade, jump on tramp, jump on the bed with them (OK, only at hotels) and have bubble-blowing contests. I am a Mommy and thankful to the Lord for giving me the desires of my heart - six kids. In that two inch line, I am making a statement that I have chosen being a MOMMY as my career.

Others don't see that. Months ago, I was annoyed when I received the hospital copy of my new patient form. They changed my MOMMY to UNEMPLOYED.

Unemployed indicates that once I was employed and now I am not. I am not receiving job offers or being asked to update my resume. If I am now unemployed, where are my benefits? I would love to receive monthly financial reimbursement for my unemployment.

I am certainly not sitting around idle, I work longer hours than "employed" people who work 9-5.

Just to make sure I wasn't making a big deal out of nuttin', I checked the definition of unemployment online.

un⋅em⋅ployed [uhn-em-ploid]

1. not employed; without a job; out of work: an unemployed secretary.
2. not currently in use: unemployed productive capacity.
3. not productively used: unemployed capital.
4. people who do not have jobs

Pasted from <http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/unemployed>


I was RIGHT! Unemployed indicates you don't have a job, you are not currently in use. I hardly have a moment when I am NOT in use. In fact, no hour is sacred to a needy child. In addition to being on-call all day long, I am called on through all hours of the night to help kids throw up, stop bloody noses, change sheets for an accident and calm fears after a horrible dream. Aren't I productive? I have wiped more noses and bottoms than the average person, wiped up gallons of spilled milk and wiped more boogers off the wall than I wish to admit.

Unemployed, huh? They may say my CAREER choice isn't one of their listed options, but I think they opt not to list my career.

So, I write it in big, capital letters.

M-O-M-M-Y

Highly Skilled Domestic Engineer

I always knew that being a mother would take incredible skill and stamina.

I knew that my endurance would be tested beyond imagination and I would have to dig deep within my personal knowledge and resources to develop highly important problem-solving strategies.

I knew that the functionality and the efficiency of the household was going to depend on me.

I knew that posterity depended on my ability to pass on these skills
 to my highly intelligent offspring so that they could function
with success and brilliance in the broad world around them.

I didn't know that some of motherhood skills were so highly-advanced and so incredible,
these feats could not be attempted by the father-figure of the household.

I didn't know how hard this passing on of brilliance and talent would be.

I didn't know that in some areas the skill

would be impossible to be passed on

and would be borne and used by me

and

me

alone.

Bathroom Number One

 

Bathroom Number Two

Bathroom Number Three

 

And, as I was chagrined to discover when this truck drove by -

professional help is NOT available.